5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed

I'm Back...Sort of...

2011-10-20T22:08:00.000-07:00

AND I'm public.....just for the time being.

I am sure all of my readers have long forgotten that I even ever had a blog. I hope you're still out there - my readers.
Quickly, I will explain my hiatus: I stopped blogging for a few reasons. First, I worked from home. I was too busy. In my spare time, I wanted to play with my son and do fun things with my husband. So sue me. Second, I needed to rethink the things I wanted to say. I did not find my own blogger opinion valuable, or even entertaining (at times). I did not find a point (for myself) in having a blog, or the obligation to keep it up to date. Let's be honest, my own mother didn't even ever read my blog - she already knew what was going to be on here...why even continue? So I stopped.

After some thoughts and and a few changes in my life, I found myself wishing I had a place to say some things. I often read news and parenting articles. When there is something extremely profound or interesting, I send it to my husband. Frequently, he ignores them...especially if they are sad. Which is unfortunate, because I tend to learn the most from stories that move me to tears and tap into my (ever shallow and pregnant) emotions. Sometimes, he doesn't even want me to talk about them - even if the point has changed my outlook in life. He (and sometimes I) choose to be blissfully unaware of pains in the world that we are not forced to be exposed to. Innocent, perhaps?

After having such an experience this evening, I decided to put my thoughts back out in the world, but in a new site, one that doesn't have quite as much history or rambling as this.
So pay attention folks - I have a new site - it isn't very clever, but it is a place where I can say what I wish and in some ways, open myself up...to my readers and also to your opinions on subjects I choose to write about.

You can find the site here: http://notanothermomblog4.wordpress.com/

I am concerned for the youth of today.

2010-10-06T09:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening, I was walking through the mall to obtain my pre-ordered copy of Beauty and the Beast. As I was doing so, I came across three young men who were dressed rather Jersey Shore-esque. I thought to myself. "Don't they know we all make fun of these people?"
Apparently, they do not know that. Or perhaps they choose to ignore it? Either way, I feel as though I need to have a talk with these kids' parents. It seems as though they are not teaching their kids very well.
Even as a youth, I always thought most teenagers learn best when lectures are accompanied by a stiff hand, swiftly motioned upside the back of their over-inflated heads. And, in some cases, a look of discernment that clearly states "Dumb Kid" (This is the point at which you feel very sorry for my child in 10-12 years).

I only regret that I was frozen with such shock that I didn't get a picture. I also regret that I can't smack those kids from Jersey Shore.....if only.

Private

2010-10-01T08:53:00.000-07:00

My Dear Readers, (those of you who have chosen to continue to follow me), I thank you for your dedication to my blog.

As you can see, I have chosen to go into stealth mode. It has come to my attention that there are far more creepos out in the world than I would like to acknowledge. I've always known they exist, I have just recently started to recognize just how close they are to me and to my family.

I haven't been the most dedicated blogger this past year, but once in a while, I might have something to say.

Like, how, right now I'm watching "America's Cheapest Family" on the Today Show and the dad is wearing a mock-turtleneck. Do you know why they call them "mock-turtlenecks"? Because people mock you when you wear them.

My friend, Jen, told me that joke once in an all-hands meeting when our old CEO was wearing a very out of date outfit. I still laugh HARD at that joke.

Landry Jones

2010-09-11T09:55:00.000-07:00

We're totally enjoying the start of the football season. BOOMER SOONER!!!!!!

A Few Things

2010-09-07T12:43:00.000-07:00

First of all, I love this weather. Autumn is my absolute favorite time of year. I wish I could wrap myself up in a cable knit blanket and sit in the cool grass all day.

Second, I am in love. Not with a place, person or anything actually real....I love Peeta Mellark. Every time I close my eyes, I get sucked into the imaginary world of Panem. Go there, if you haven't yet. (Click Here)

That is all.

I'm in Love With California

2010-08-03T13:22:00.000-07:00

I should probably stop making visits to California with my girls...me and my boys just keep falling more and more in love with it all. Love the weather, the beach, the endless shopping....and Souplantation! Oh yes, and the fresh strawberries....oh yes. The only thing missing was my Casey....

Beck with his best friend, Wyatt.

We had Mexican seafood for my birthday!

Complete with birthday flan and a trick candle.

Agh...I might have to move my family to California!

Not My Favorite Pie

2010-08-01T21:19:00.000-07:00

The Lord works in mysterious ways. Sometimes, when we least expect kindness, or when we want to give it the very least, He steps in and serves a helping of humble pie.
Without giving too much detail, I am going to tell you a story about some pie I received this morning.

As a child, after a scuffle with one of my siblings or with my parents, my dad would always tell me to "never go to bed angry". I always tried. That doesn't mean it always worked out. My dad tends to have pretty good advice - part of that is because he is like a Mr. Miagi-Confucius combo - so I try to apply many of the things he's taught me in my marriage.

I have a normal marriage, I think. I tend to describe our relationship together by saying no one in the world could make me crazier than Casey....crazy in every way possible. No one gets under my skin the way he does - good and bad. I love him more than I could imagine and more than I think I know. But that doesn't mean we don't fight...we do. Last night, as a matter of fact, we did. We're not big yellers (okay, sometimes I am...but Casey is much more calm than me...), but it was late at night enough that I decided to go to bed without reconciling our differences.
Bitter and exhausted from a restless sleep, I woke up early with my baby boy this morning. I blindly carried him downstairs and set him up in his high chair with a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, which he excitedly refers to as "kaka".
I've been out of town for the past week or so, causing me to fall behind in my Primary class preparations. So, like the terrible teacher I am, I pulled out my manual, looked for today's date and the corresponding lesson number. As I opened the book to read the title, I wondered how I should react when my dear husband awoke. Was I still feeling upset about our scuffle the night before? Am I over it? Should I just pretend like it's a new day and like nothing really happened? Or should I continue to make him suffer for crossing me? ........hmmm.........

I read the title.
"The Good Samaritan"

I don't think I even had a first thought after reading it. I immediately knew that this particular lesson was more for me than any 5 year old child I'd be telling this story to in a few hours. I also knew that my lazy behavior in not properly preparing for this lesson, for once, paid off.
I know very well that I am not the easiest person to get along with - especially to live with. I have been been described in the past as quite the stubborn one. Though that is true, I can say that this morning, my heart was softened.

I read a story in my lesson about a girl who gets in a fight with her friend, Todd. She goes inside her house and asks her dad to punish the boy for pushing her. Instead of getting the boy in trouble, he suggests she spread jam on two pieces of bread and take one out to Todd, even though they just had an argument. She listens. Instead of staying mad at each other, they sat together and ate their bread and jam.

Most of the time in my blogging, I keep out a lot of my private thoughts and feelings. Especially when it has to do with my personal relationships, whether with my husband, or with my Father above. Despite that, this subject plagued me all day so much, that I had to say a little something. Perhaps what I should say is "thank you"?

Holla!

2010-07-18T00:16:00.000-07:00

Hello my blogging friends,

I have been, as of late, an all-around really bad blogger. I find that Summer is my time to relax and apparently that is in all aspects except for work and mother-hood, of course!
We have been spending a lot of time at the pool and having fun as a family, which, of course, also includes Jennie! I've made a few cakes, perfected my Oreo Truffle Cheesecake Bars, as well as my own cream cheese fruit dip. I lost a few pounds and promptly packed them back on.
I read Hunger Games and Catching Fire (which I HIGHLY recommend to everyone). I stayed up all night last weekend until the sun started rising around 6am to finish Hunger Games. I have decided it is my favorite book series, possibly ever. Which is kind of a big deal, considering how I am a huge Twilight Saga fanatic....although, I have to bottle up all of my Twilight emotions until a few days before the movies come out...tee hee!

Speaking of which, Jennie and I went to see Eclipse together. We had 9:00pm tickets and were ecstatic not only to see the movie before everyone else, but also because we are old and feel better starting our evening at 9pm instead of midnight.

Jennie was so kind as to bring me prizes from her Burger King kids' meals...this, of course, made our evening that much more exciting.

Casey bought me some New Moon items for Christmas, including this awesome wallet and candle. Gotta love him!

Tonight, I started reading "Push" by Sapphire and I am excited to keep it going. I really love reading in the summertime - I think it stems from all the Summer reading programs I participated in at the Library for 10 years. Yes, I am just that nerdy. I love books.

I have also recruited my son to help me more around the house. I decided he needed to start earning his keep around here. He just eats, sleeps and plays all the time. What a bum! So here he is, helping. This is why we have kids, isn't it? To have them clean for us?

He takes after his father...he wasn't very thorough. But he was eager to help and I appreciated all of it!

I don't think he could get any cuter, do you?

Casey and I did take a short trip to Vegas recently, which was my first time leaving Beck overnight. It was heart-wrenching to leave him, but the sleeping in and lounging was MUCH needed. (Thanks again, Ninna!!!) Sadly, Casey and I kept forgetting to bring our camera with us, as I carried either a clutch or no purse the entire time. One of my favorite parts of the trip was, as usual, the food. We drove a few minutes off the strip on Sahara to a little Thai place. BEST Thai food I have had since the last time my Dad & April cooked. I guess I could make it all myself, but that requires me cleaning up after....ha!
The night before I left, I went to check on Beck before I went to sleep. As I tucked his blankets around him, he, still sound asleep let out a sad "Oh!"...worried I was disturbing him or he was having a bad dream, I started to retreat, when, he let out a very loud "OH TOODLES!" From his favorite show, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I swear, he couldn't get any cuter. Love this kid.
He also got a haircut today...he was so shy and sweet. He sat perfectly still, leaning in the directions he was requested to. After he was done, Becky gave him a sucker. I told him to say thank you, but he just lowered his head and gazed up at her with his giant brown eyes. He held the Dum Dum in his little hands, making them ever so sticky. He refused to speak, still playing shy. The moment we walked out of the door, he turns to me, says "Dah-su" which means "thank you" and then made the sign for "candy" and stuck the sucker in his mouth. I love how shy he is.
Last night I took him to see "Despicable Me" in 3D. He wore his little glasses almost the entire time and sat on his little booster seat, sipping his chocolate milk. At one point, he leaned over wrapping his little hands around my arm and laid his head on my shoulder. We watched the movie like that for about 10 minutes. He totally reacted to all the little characters and questions, including letting out a "wuh-OH!" when they went down the roller coaster (it was in 3D and the perspective is from inside the cart). He loved it.

Needless to say, we've been having a great summer. Here's to a great second half.

The Kiss

2010-06-30T23:11:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking lately....about 2 weeks, actually...about kisses. There are so many kinds of kisses between so many types of people. There is the "kiss hello" as we all experienced along with Jerry on Seinfeld. There is the good-bye peck between someone we love, the open-mouthed slobber-filled baby kiss, the no-lip-contact "mwah" between friends who want to seem like they're THAT friendly but don't want to really commit....there's the good-night kiss, the long pause on a soft-skinned baby forehead in the middle of the night or any other brief moment during the day.
Then, there is the passionate kiss. The kiss I'd like to talk more about. I was thinking about first kisses the other night after I watched "Leap Year" (which I completely LOVE!). There is a conversation about kisses between a husband and a wife- how each kiss should be as if it were the first and perhaps the last kiss to one's love. I thought about this as the rest of the scene unravels itself (I won't spoil it...go rent it!!!).
About a week later, we were gathered with some friends. A conversation was brought up between a married friend and a divorced one. In our very conservative culture, where sex should only be had between a husband and a wife, there was a question of whether or not, being single again, does this individual have a new appreciation for the kiss?
I thought about my own marriage, how I never thought anything was missing- we have passion, we have kisses. We don't have make-outs, but we have love. I know that is really what matters, yes, but wouldn't most of us like to relive our first kiss to our special someone? The nerves, the anticipation, the spontaneity of the moment? The question going through the kisser's mind of "should I do it? Should I not???" and then the question in the kissee's thoughts of where it's going to ever happen or if we even want it to happen?
After all the back and forth, isn't there some part of us that would want to visit once more, the satisfaction and the relief of a kiss that was long waited?
There is something about being married that causes us to sometimes forget what it's like to be nervous around each other. Of course, I would always choose familiarity over anxiety. But I don't mind being reminded of what new love feels like - how it is so simply exemplified in such a tender act between two people caught in a moment of passion.
In a world where sex sells and is given away so freely, it is often difficult to remember how much of a turn on romance itself can be; how much passion and excitement a single kiss can carry.

I Was On TV Today!!!!

2010-06-02T22:40:00.000-07:00

Well, Sort of....
I entered my original recipe for Strawberry Lemonade Cake in a local contest sponsored by Iggy's Sports Grill and KSL's Studio 5. The contest ends tonight, but I got an email yesterday from someone at KSL stating they like my recipe and want to use it to promote the contest. I know it's not like my own segment or series on the Food Network, but hey, I'm on local TV!!!

The contest winner is announce on June 8. Wish me luck!!!!!

This is a BAD BAD man.

2010-05-19T12:35:00.000-07:00

On our day trip into the city, we passed this man a couple times and I thought it would be fun to have our picture drawn. The sign behind him said that it was $3.00 a head (AFTER TAX! HA!). That's what we thought we were getting. He hardly said much - mainly because he didn't speak much English. So even if we knew we were getting ripped off, we couldn't have done much about it. We caught him inspecting and admiring some of us (and body parts), thinking he was just being detailed in his drawing. Little did we know, he was a SCAM 'artist' who ended up charging us $32.85 and was pretty happy about it.

People kept walking by, glancing and the picture then looking at us all funny. We thought there might have been a pretty good resemblance or something.

This is what we went home with......

After he turned it around and showed it to us, we all stood there, shocked for a few minutes. I'm sure our jaws were all gaping. We handed over our cash and rejected his offer for a $6 frame. FRAME???

We got about 6 blocks down the street then opened it back up....who can even tell the difference between an adult and a baby? And somehow, what we think to be me and Becky are both bustier than Jennie? How much of an idiot can this guy be? My dog, Pete could have drawn a better portrait! And where on earth did the balloons come from?

Note to self, don't trust anyone on the streets of San Francisco.

California

2010-05-18T14:29:00.000-07:00

There is a first for everything. I've been all over the East Coast from the time I was young into my married and pregnant life. I recently decided that it was time to expand my horizons to the West. It's difficult being friends with Californian sisters and to not take advantage of a trip to the Bay Area. I am so happy I did.

From what I have seen of this great state, I have fallen in love with. I love the fresh seafood, clam chowder, and OH MY - sourdough bread!

I can hardly put into words the fun I had. I am not sure if I have even had this much fun as a child. Here are a few highlights from my trip with Beck and Jennie to Danville...

This is the cake we made for Wyatt's first birthday party! Jungle theme....

His personal cake to dig into!

Best buds! Wyatt and Beck

Aunt Jennie and her nephews

Birthday boy with his Momma & Papa

What giant baby isn't this happy to eat his first cake?!

A DELICIOUS slice..

The bakers (aka 'Warden' and my you know what's! hahaha)

Ninna and her cake

Me, with my cake - and Becky growing out of my head.

Beck, falling asleep in his cake

After we put the babies down for naps, us kids turned the water on the jump house and let loose! OMG most fun EVER!!!!!!!!! I can't even begin to describe the joy a moon bounce can bring to some 20-somethings.

We let the babies play when they woke up, too...Beck loved it.

Beck and Wyatt became best friends playing with each other. Here they are having lunch!

The boys, holding hands as we arrive in San Francisco!

Beck and me with the bridge in the foggy background

In front of Alcatraz - it was very cold and windy!

Our gang!

Us ladies at Pier 39

Beck, getting ready to hit the beach!

He didn't love the cold water and I think the sand felt weird. But it was his first time to see the ocean!

Sandy toes

Aunt Jennie at the beach with her boys

Us girls, getting our picture drawn...you'll hear more about that in a bit.....

Good-bye city! I hope to see you again....

Next time, I'll tell you about our awesome character drawing and visiting the Oakland temple.....

A Proud (but OH, so tender) Moment for a Mom

2010-05-12T12:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Jennie and I took Beck to the mall. For the very first time, I decided to let my obsessively clean streak take a break and let Beck play on the mall playground. It's a giant tree, with a slide and even dinosaur bones poking out of the ground. It's actually REALLY cool. I thought he would love it - and he did.

After he went down the slide, he wanted to climb back up it (a habit he learned and I recorded in California...to be posted later). Jennie rescued him from a kid coming down the slide, but in picking him up, swung him into an innocent little girl standing by. As Casey said....Jennie is mean!!!!
The little girl started crying, of course, mostly because I think she was embarrassed. She was almost 2 (I talked to her mom - who was nice, too). After Jennie apologized and we helped her back to her feet, her mom encouraged her to go play by her sister. In the mean time, little girl still crying, Beck wiggled his way out of Jennie's arms and pretty much ran down the sad little girl. We ran after him -
(Now comes the proud moment)
Beck ran right up to the crying baby girl, waved his hands around talking jibberish to her. Next thing we knew, he was throwing his arms around her, in a very looong very tight, consoling hug. He did not let go until she stopped crying. Afterwards, they just stood there, looking around and at each other, awkward.
(I tried to take a picture of them hugging, but I was too slow)

Sometimes as parents, you wonder how you are doing. No parent is perfect, of course, but there are different things we make as priorities that you want your kids to know. I'm sure, on the top of most parents' lists is letting their children know what love is. No matter what happens to me, I always want Beck to know that I love him. From the beginning we show love with hugs, kisses, smiles and confidence. It touched my heart to know that my efforts have translated - at least a little bit.
Beck has always been pretty tender - his feelings get hurt and he gets embarrassed easily. While it breaks my heart every time he cries, I am happy that his heart is sensitive. To be so young - so naive....and so caring for a little girl he didn't know....I am so proud of him.

They went on to play in a giant log/bench thing - and I was happy to see that he makes friends easily.

2010-05-08T22:18:00.000-07:00

It's dark. I'm hot and I can't find my glasses. "Forget the glasses" I think, wearily to myself...."it's dark anyway." I hear him again and I'm stumbling through a mess of cord from my phone charger "THUD!" There goes my phone. The sounds are getting louder...where is that freaking door???? Am I standing sideways? Follow the sound....I open the door. There he is. Standing in the middle of his crib, eyes closed, giraffe in hand, crying with fright.

"Shhh, shhh....Mommy is here," I console him. I blindly dig around for his binky and wrap him in his silky minky blanket, cradling him in my warm arms. I follow the shadow from his rocking chair in the corner of the room, dimly lit by a blue night light. "There there, pumpkin," I tell him, "Go back to sleep." I gently pat his diapered bum, listening to the muffled crinkle under his pajamas. He smells great. Like a coconut dipped in vanilla, with a hint of lavender and baby powder. His skin feels soft and warm under my nose and on the ends of my lips as I press them on his forehead. We're both half asleep, but that also makes us half awake. I kind of like this limbo.

There is something different about children when they sleep. Finally their minds and their little bodies rest- and for a few moments, we, as mothers can remember what it was like when they were new....and when they held still for a second or two.

I remember the instant those deep, enormous black eyes were shot in my direction. My breath and my heart were taken from me.
All my fibers sensed I knew him, always. All that I went through getting him here is nothing compared to what I would do to keep him here....name your price.
He is everything to me...and for now, I am the world to him. I am his mother.

Happy Mothers' Day.

Beck's Favorite Movie

2010-04-20T07:33:00.000-07:00

Sure, he doesn't hold still to watch the entire thing, but pretty close. He is so crazy about Madagascar and I kind of love the movie, too.......

Beck kind of looks like Mort and King Julian kind of reminds us of my dad...haha!

"Mada-who-ha?" "Not Who-ha! Osc-ah!"

Love Being 'Mom'

2010-04-16T11:59:00.000-07:00

The wind chilled my face from the warm evening sun as it coasted rapidly across my skin. I could hear the air buzzing in my ears as I flew higher and higher into the sky. My contacts would have been as dry as my mom's wheat pancakes had I not been wearing sunglasses. My throat felt parched as my lips stuck to my exposed teeth. Breath bellowed from my chest with each firm shove to my lower back and my body thrust closer to the sun. I each time I flew forward I felt my stomach flip and I could hear my own girlish merriment echo in my head.

In the past 15 or so years, I'd completely forgotten how much fun it was to swing.

I looked over to the baby swing to my right to see my own son in a motionless swing, staring off into nothing. I guess in all our fun, Daddy forgot to push the baby's swing, too.

I love being Mom and rediscovering all the fun kid things to do.

Smitten.

2010-04-11T22:58:00.000-07:00

I was thinking tonight about my first night with Beck. Just how IN LOVE I was. How I had never been SO in love before.
I put him to bed at 8:22pm. He woke up crying at 10:38pm. I ran upstairs to find his favorite giraffe and tuck him back in his blankets. Though eyes closed, his little fingers were pointed and motioning. He made a familiar high-pitched "oom" noise that I understood to be "up". I scooped him up, wrapping his blankets around his bare toes and sat down in his soft suede rocking chair. The blue of his night-light burned my eyes a little as they adjusted to the dark. I leaned back in the chair, propping my own bare feet up on the gliding ottoman, relaxing to the hum of the fan in his warm room. I felt my little baby nuzzle his tender face into my shoulder and I touched the tip of my nose to his soft, slightly squishy little arm as we rocked. His eyes were closed, but I could see those long, dark eyelashes in the shadows. My heart melted, as it had melted so many times and so many nights before. I caressed his soft cheeks with the tip of my fingers and kissed them gingerly. My heart skips a beat every time I hold him like this.
Casey and I were discussing our mission as parents tonight. I thought about earlier this morning when Beck woke up an hour and a half early....I was still exhausted at 7am (from staying up late the night before, of course) and with church not starting till 11.....I fed him a delicious bowl of oatmeal for breakfast then turned on Playhouse Disney and put him in his pack n play up next to the couch where I promptly curled up in a blanket and laid down. I set my alarm for an hour away and closed my eyes. I felt a soft pat on my knee. I cracked one eye open just enough to get a blurry glimpse of what he was doing. I didn't have in my contacts, so I admired his fuzzy silhouette as he stood in the corner of his playpen, patting my legs softly. He looked in my direction for a moment and mimicked a fake snoring sound we often make playing with him..."hongshoo, hongshoo". He knew I was sleeping. He just kept patting my knee. I wanted to jump up and kiss his soft cheeks and tell him I love him, but I didn't want to ruin the moment. I closed my eyes, feeling warmth swell inside me knowing he loves me back. I told Casey during our discussion how I feel a little satisfied in my far-from-perfect parenting that, in the very least, my son knows what it means to love someone and how to tell someone he feels that way.
Before I put him to bed tonight, he slapped his doughy hands on both my cheeks and rubbed his nose on mine for an eskimo kiss. He laughed and smiled at me as he smooshed my face between his palms and opened his mouth wide for a perfect baby kiss, diving in with a loud "Aaawah!"
My whole life as a young, extremely shy and ever so awkward girl, all I wanted was for a boy I liked to like me back. And, perhaps, to like me a little more than a friend. I never imagined I would love two boys so much and have them love me back.

Sometimes, I Have Weird Dreams

2010-04-07T22:17:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was in the Bahamas. My mom and I had to pick my dad up from a cruise ship he'd been performing on. I remember looking down from the bow of our boat into the crystal clear blue water, then gazing upward to see my father, THE David Hasselhoff, preparing to board our boat. We all went swimming together - it was an incredible experience there, in the beautiful water.
Later, I decided to explore the island we were staying on. I left our house boat and raised my arms out from my sides and felt the wind pick up underneath them as my body lifted into the sky. That's right...I could fly. I watched these other kids "air surfing" and thought it was weird...but pay no mind to my own levitation.
I flew over huge bays of water from one dock to another, finally stopping to use the restroom at a church building. Once inside, I proceeded to the ladies' room, which doubled as a room for nursing mothers. It was HUGE! There were TONS of Lay-z-boys and flat screen televisions. I was intrigued, which was weird because in my dream, I had no husband...no child. No need to be concerned with a place to nurse a baby.
After going potty, I left the building to continue my flight around the outskirts of the island. I bumped into a girl who had been "air-surfing" nearby and was a native of the island. We exchanged greetings and I proceeded to make my way back to my house boat and my father, THE HOFF. As I took flight, I noticed an incredible wall of water approaching the other side of the island. Yes, it was a tsunami. I'd never in my wildest ocean dreams seen such a wall of water. I was invited to take cover with my new friend and her brother in her home to wait out the storm.
Then, I woke up...with the intense urge to pee.

That's right...he might be rugged and tough on the outside, but on the inside...he's tender....

Apparently my subconscious thinks its related to The Hoff and wants to fly. Awesome.

New Show I Love

2010-04-06T12:46:00.000-07:00

I've recently been loathing the need for a new bathing suit. My body has changed so much in the past two years getting pregnant, losing the weight, gaining some back and then losing it again....keeping a little around, too. I didn't want to think much about putting on anything as detail revealing as swim wear. I now, however, find myself not feeling so bad.
I saw an episode of Oprah a little while ago where she had Jessica Simpson on, talking about he new show, The Price of Beauty. I can honestly say that I love this show. I have never cared too much for Ms. Simpson, but I was intrigued by the idea of the show. She is traveling around the world to see what "beauty" means in all kinds of different cultures. She got me hooked quickly when her first few visits included Thailand, home of my own heritage, and then Paris, world beauty capital. She immerses herself in the local culture, doing their local spa treatments including drinking a cleansing serum that causes excessive belching...and another comprised completely of cow's urine. There are a few instances where she is a little immature, but overall, I very much appreciate her objective. She was motivated to create this show by the "mom jeans" incident, where she was singing at a state fair in a size 4 pair of jeans and was made fun of for being "fat".

This week's episode, they went to Ugandan tribe where a woman was getting married. Two months before the woman was to wed, she was confined to the "fattening hut" where she had to drink gourds of milk to gain 80 pounds in that short amount of time. To the men there, "fat" is beautiful. In the wedding ceremony, the groom read poetry he'd written where he compared his bride to a beautiful silken cow. I was impressed.
The men of the tribe even said that Jessica Simpson was too thin to date. She had to put on a skirt that made her look 40 pounds heavier!

Compared to the shows we normally watch, where tan blonde and twiggy are characteristics we, as a society, strive to be, I found the Ugandan tradition refreshing. I have never in my life wanted to be compared to a cow, but to see the joy and love exercised in such a different practice made me relax a little bit. Why should I worry so much about how I look at any weight? I am not normally obsessed with how I look as far as weight is concerned, that is, until swim season. For once, I appreciate something Jessica Simpson is doing. Her efforts are effective on me. I definitely won't feel so bad as I hit the pool this summer.

Sex Appeal

2010-03-31T06:46:00.000-07:00

I'd first like to point out this ad that was in the top right corner of my weather.com webpage this morning. It's for refinancing mortgages. So what, may I ask, does this incredibly disgusting old man with nasty teeth have to do with what they're selling??? Have we completely forgotten that sex sells?
Or have our standards of what is sexy stooped to old, dirty, hairy and crooked, dressed in a stretched out yellowed T? This man looks like a transient.

This Could Quite Possibly Be One of the Most Cheesy Posts I've Ever Written

2010-03-11T07:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Blog,
Tomorrow is Casey and my fourth wedding anniversary. I just want to pay homage to the anniversary gods by writing a little post dedicated to my partner in crime. Here goes....

Once upon a time, a long 5 1/2 years ago, we met at a party and fell in love. I will forever be grateful to your coworker who "needed" $100 worth of Peach Nehi, and the adventure we embarked on to find it (it hasn't ended, if you didn't notice).

A few months later, we spent our first New Year's together. You were my very first New Year's Eve kiss (and you will be my last in a gazillion years!)

Then, you surprised me for our first Valentine's Day! Later, you moved all the way to the sticks in Oklahoma just to be with lil' ole me.

One night, you gave me a ring....

And then, you made me a promise.

You gave me my first baby, then our second....so what if they have four legs? I still love them so.

You've taken me on all kinds of adventures: camping, Las Vegas, and even Idaho! - Twice to my favorite place, New York, New York.

One time, I helped you shave your head into a beautiful mullet.

Later, you bought me a house...a little one, but one that is just the right home for our teeny tiny family. Once our nest was built, you gave me the greatest gift I could have ever dreamed of.

You've put up with my neuroses, my over-protection of our off-spring and all the rest of my antics. While I've always known you felt it, I was so happy to hear you say how much you love our little Beck, so much you're afraid of anything ever happening to him. (I'm not afraid....whoever would hurt him should be the person who is afraid....)

"Time flies when you're having fun"- they say - I try to cling to each of our days, savoring all the good moments. Goodness knows you make me crazier than anyone else ever could - from one extreme to the other.

Here's to you, John, Dear. To the 5 1/2 happiest years of my life and to the eternity we've promised to share. So far, our life just keeps getting better and better.

Thank you for being so thoughtful this evening (before you had your guys' night) - cleaning up the house, putting away the baby's toys, turning on his fan and even laying out his blankets. I cannot imagine anyone else in this world I would let tease me as much as you have.
Happy Anniversary.

Sincerely,
Darling

Smartypants

2010-03-08T14:05:00.000-08:00

I am constantly amazed at the quantities of knowledge small children generate. There are so many things that I try to teach him every day and he just stares at me blankly or laughs at my efforts. It doesn't weaken my determination at all. Especially when he does things that I haven't made a point to teach him yet....

For his birthday, my sister in Texas sent Beck a toy CD player. Really, it's a plastic CD player shaped toy that lights up and plays music when you push the buttons and put the plastic discs in the designated slot. The other day, Beck was digging out our ottoman, which doubles as his toy chest downstairs. He pulled out his little CD player, and then found one of the CD's (as seen below). He then turned back and started digging out other toys, then suddenly, his digging became rigorous....

He got stuck, we let him loose. Then he dove down again.....finally, only surfacing when he found the purple disc.
Casey and I were both fascinated at how he knew these items belonged together. We know he's not stupid, but so swiftly, he is remembering and comprehending information on his own.

The other night, Casey and I brought home some 5 Guys (burgers and fries!), so I poured myself a cup of milk, finishing off the gallon. I don't like to take up the space in the garbage can, so I set it on the floor by the trash. I then emptied out the cup of fries into the paper bag, tearing off the top of the sack so we could eat them. I set the cup on the ottoman and handed Beck a fry. He waddled around the house, munching and playing...then he comes trotting into the living room, clutching the empty milk jug in his hand. He walked straight for the empty french fry cup, setting it on the floor. He sat next to it, and pretended to twist off the cap on the milk, then imitated pouring into the cup. Who taught him this???? Perhaps me, who pours him countless sippys each day? It must be me, but little do I remember how closely he watches the things I do and say.

He does remember what I teach him --sometimes. This past week, he learned that a chicken says "bok bok", a lion says "rawr", where his nose (and my nose) is, and how to say "thank you" in sign language. Sometimes he does it completely on his own, too - at the appropriate time, too! I think that is the part that intrigues me- how he knows when to say "please" and "thank you". They are much more intangible than teaching him how to sign for a particular object.

We had a few pretty warm days last week, so we took Beck over to the park. He is such a daredevil - not like me! He wants so much to run by himself, and slide by himself....he very much loved the swings, too! I enjoyed hearing him growl every time the swing came towards me, and he lost his stomach.

He can be a little too smart for his own good sometimes....

Food Blog Move

2010-03-01T22:05:00.000-08:00

Please continue to follow me, as I move my food blog to Wordpress.com. In efforts to separate my family blog from my personal one, I've chosen to use separate accounts for them. Please visit the new location of "Livin Sweet" here:

LIVIN SWEET BLOG

Be sure to update your accounts to follow this new site:

http://www.LivinSweet.wordpress.com/

Stay tuned to my new site to see what new cakes I've been decorating and crafts I've been trying!

I've been very busy...

Who has the time?

2010-02-25T10:26:00.000-08:00

Not me.
I have too much going on to update my blog with it all. I have been making cakes and other treats for people. this week, Beck got a new cousin. Her name is Daisy and she is precious. We didn't let him get real close to her, but from the other side of the couch, he admired her - cooing with his little baby voice that he usually uses when he talks to his dogs.
I've been busy making baby shower gifts for Daisy, too. I made a very cute little blanket, but forgot to take a picture of it! The rest, I have yet to give to her parents, so I am keeping them a secret!
I also made Beck a crocheted slouchy cap that surprisingly turned out well....I think he is pretty dang adorable in anything, though....
I also need to post about our trip to Oklahoma -I just haven't had a chance! But I do love this picture of Beck with Bumba and his cousin, Kurtis. This little booster chair was just his size and he knew it. He so much wanted to be part of the group with the boys, looking at some of my dad's pictures from Iraq. AND of course, April's kids are never fully dressed...if at all!

More to come - when I have finished my projects and have time!

Not sure why...

2010-02-16T10:33:00.001-08:00

But this bird reminds me of my husband.

If you haven't seen this movie yet, please do. I love love love it!

Sick and Tired

2010-02-11T10:47:00.000-08:00

Well, we're home. We had the BEST time in Oklahoma and in Texas. Sad to leave. We're jet-lagged and tired, oh and ill. Both me and Beck. Which made me even more pleased to arrive at an almost spotless home on Tuesday night. Thank you, Casey! Oh, and thanks for hanging around with us all day yesterday letting us contaminate you with our icky germs. Oh, and also for the fresh cloves of garlic for me to make the baby some soft boiled rice with today.

I hope you don't get sick, too!!!!

Even more, I hope Baby and I get better soon...like, NOW.

You're Welcome.

2010-02-03T21:25:00.001-08:00

Funny Kid

2010-01-20T06:54:00.000-08:00

Today after Beck ate his dinner, Casey and I were standing around the kitchen and Beck was eating Gerber's Puffs in his high chair. I heard him laughing, hard....like he wanted my attention. We turned around to see him holding puff up to his closed eye and busting a major gut. He's so much like his father.

Good News

2010-01-18T09:06:00.000-08:00

We live in a country full or opportunities, yet, we still turn on the television to find so much sadness, despair and devastation in our world. From the economy to the earthquake in Haiti and even a missing mother of two here in Utah, there are so many things to pray for help and comfort about.

I watch the Today Show just about every morning. I would say bad news outweighs good news every morning - but one thing they do have o their site is a page dedicated to GOOD NEWS. It's too bad we don't hear more about this. I encourage you to click on this link and add a little love, a little charity, a little confidence and a little more happiness to your day. Enjoy....

CLICK HERE FOR GOOD NEWS

Too Fast

2010-01-16T13:00:00.000-08:00

When you're about to have a child enter your life, more people than you can count will tell you that they grow up way to fast. I didn't quite comprehend the degree of how true this statement is. To all of you who are going to have children, take heed to these words: THEY GROW UP TOO FAST! Cherish every second you have.

Casey and I switch off every weekend letting each other sleep in a bit- we both normally wake up in the 5-6am hour, so sleeping till 9 or 10am is a treat for us one a week. Well, today was my turn to sleep. Like the great husband I have, Casey got up at 8 with Beck, fed him breakfast and then played with him until I finally rolled out around 11. I could hear Beck complaining about something as he was hanging in his pack n play - I came halfway down the stairs, just where he couldn't see me. I called out his name so he would look at me. Instead, he looked at his daddy and laughed. This went one for about 3 minutes, until he finally saw me peaking around the corner on the stairs.
I expected to see excitement in his eyes when he saw me, as he normally does. I wasn't entirely disappointed, he was excited to see me, but only because he wanted something. I picked him up, and he pointed to the kitchen. I followed his tiny finger about ten steps down the hall and he signed "more" rigorously as I made my way towards the kitchen counter. Sitting there, bright and delicious, is a canister of his favorite snack, Gerber's Lil' Crunchies. As we approached the object of my son's affection, smiles on both our faces, he moved his tiny hand in circles on his chest to sign "please" delighted. He knew exactly what he wanted and precisely how to ask for it!
The way his Pack n Play is situated, he can see right into the kitchen. I am sure he was just waiting for someone to pick him up so he could have some of his favorite snack.
He has known how to tell me "more since he was around six months old, so that sign wasn't a surprise. I have been trying to teach him "please" for a few weeks now; he has been able to make the sign, but the concept of saying "please" is much more intangible than asking for something in particular. I was also impressed that his mind could put it all together so quickly and on top of that, so polite!
He's growing up. A large part of me is saddened that it is happening so swiftly. Life really doesn't give a parent the opportunity to savor each moment like it deserves. To me, that is just a reminder of what little we get to take with us after we leave this world and how special what we do take actually is.

Happiest Boy in the World.

2010-01-11T23:06:00.000-08:00

Every day with the boys in my life is an adventure. It's no secret that Casey is wild and thinks he's hilarious. It is also becoming apparent that Beck is taking after his father more and more each day. He is constantly making faces just to make me laugh - not that he needs to try to get a smile from me.

Beck had a little cold...he and his daddy have way too much fun together...

Last night, I was up late working on a birthday cake and when I finally went to bed, after midnight, Beck woke up and Casey was rocking him back to sleep. Casey and I went to bed and I was absolutely freezing!!! After a half hour or so, Beck woke up again and I realized his room was also freezing cold. Our heater wasn't working. Some time around 1am (keep in mind I get up and start working around 6am), I was awake, downstairs, trying to figure out what the heck was wrong and why it is blowing out cold air. After some hustle and bustle, while Casey was warming up our little munchkin, I decided to change the filter and it (thankfully!) worked. Anyhow, once I was done, Beck was still screaming. It was all Casey could do to just calm him down. Once I picked him up, he stopped. I wrapped my little boy up in fleece blankets and cuddled him as I rocked in his chair. He stared at me, wide eyed. I leaned down to give him a little butterfly kiss on his forehead. He had no expression. He just kept staring at me. The next thing I know, out of the darkness, I am slapped in the face by a miniature hand. He felt across my face and put his tiny palm on my eye. More butterfly kisses. He smiled up at me and I just laughed. Then I was slapped again.

I have no idea what time I went to sleep. I didn't care. It was time well spent.

It's so funny to me how he knows that Casey is the fun one. The instant Casey comes home from work, Beck wants to play with him. Moments after he wakes up, he calls downstairs for "Dada" - hoping it is time to play. I kind of wish I was fun - or funny....but I'll settle for the last person he wants to see before he sleeps.

Sometimes when he is sitting on my lap, either eating lunch or just watching Madagascar, he'll turn his head and look up at me. I love that 6-tooth smile.

(Beck got a hole in the toe of his pj's from his Auntie Becky in Santa Barbara)

I Run

2010-01-06T07:06:00.000-08:00

I have never been able to run. I have crappy knees. It's hereditary.

I have been hearing a lot about this "runner's high" and it sounds so intriguing. In the past, I've only been able to run about 5 minutes before walking for ten to calm the growing inflammation just below my thighs. I decided to buy a soft supportive brace this week and see how it worked. Turns out, it's great.

I ran 3 straight miles on Monday night - granted, it took me an hour - but I only stopped because I needed to get home. Last night, I ran 2 miles. I was tired.

Both times, the experience was exhilarating. I think I will do it again tonight. Only, I will skip the Wendy's chicken sandwich after.....

Greatest Snow On Earth

2009-12-30T00:25:00.000-08:00

Tonight must have been craft night in Heaven. Someone spilled a lot of glitter.

I've been inside all day, but I knew it was snowing. I finally took a quick walk outside to check the mail and had the most peaceful 5 minutes. Everything sparkled like billions of tiny diamonds as the street lamps shone over the freshly falling snow. It was so cold that Harry didn't even want to come outside with me. Pete stood next to the door, on the doormat, to keep his little paws from freezing.

This is the most beautiful snow I have ever seen. I didn't grow up with snow. Before I moved out here, I think I'd only ever had one white Christmas. While after Christmas, I normally prefer the snow to stay in the mountains, I decided to make an exception tonight.

The roads were empty. I could hear the snow crunching beneath my feet as I trudged along in my fuzzy boots. I like moments like this. Moments that belong to me. Just me.

Grateful.

2009-12-28T07:56:00.001-08:00

In case you were wondering, that is how I feel this morning. Grateful to be alive (after an accident in the nasty snow storm last week) Grateful to be a mom and grateful that my little boy is turning one today. (I'm grateful for a lot of other things, too....but I am especially happy about these today).

This time exactly one year ago, I was getting an epidural. I had no idea what I was about to get into - labor and birth - and the absolute happiest year of my life. 2009 hasn't actually been an easy year for us - but having Beck be part of it has made my life so much more fulfilling than it had been for the 22 years before it. I have discovered my purpose in life because of Beck. I have learned to love greater than I thought humanly possible. I have discovered something much bigger than myself in this world and a way that I can help, change, and shape a person's life.

I am happy that I am waking up this morning, with a boy that is 365 days old, and a cup that is running over.

Beck may only be 1 year old today, but he has more personality in him than I can almost handle! I've never seen a baby that laughs and smiles this much - EVER! I, personally awarded him the 'Happiest Boy in the World' award the other day....(along side the 'Cutest Baby in the World Award'). He is smiling from the second he wakes up to the moment he lays his head down at night.

Beck hugs his puppy, Harry, every morning. I'm sure he's very confused that some of his "animals" get up and walk around and others just sit on the shelf. Each morning, when Beck wakes up, Harry runs into his room ahead of me, pushes the door open, and stands up with his front paws on Beck's crib - ecstatic that his little friend is finally awake. They play together and snuggle every day.

Beck's even closer best friend is Geoff....I can hardly give Geoff a "bath" without Beck screaming the entire time. They are inseparable! I had lots of stuffed animals for Beck when he was born and I would rotate them every time he took a nap. For some reason, he thought Geoff was extra special.

This is Beck at only 3 1/2 months...LOVING that stinkin' giraffe. They have had lots of adventures together....including braving the hairy fat man at the mall.

Beck is CRAZY for Gerber's Cheddar Lil' Crunchies. We call them "cheese doodles"...not sure why....but this kid could eat the entire canister in one sitting and not blink.

Beck is the most vocal infant that I have ever encountered. From the beginning, before other babies even thought about jabbering, Beck was cooing and even yelling....LOUD. He still "talks" so loud, that my sister said she thought it sounded like someone let an angry chimp loose over the phone.

Beck loves playtime in his Pack n Play - sometimes that's the only way to make him happy. He has a hobby of throwing toys out, one by one, and staring at them as they hit the ground. He definitely has the curiosity of a little boy - trumped only by his dog, Harry.

Even since we were in the hospital, when I would feed Beck, he would rub the back-side of his tiny hand across my neck and chest while he ate. I love that he was a little feeler. I love that he still always wants to know the texture of EVERYTHING. Only now, he uses his fingertips and it's the cutest thing ever.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY! May it be the first of at least 100.

Hamburgler

2009-12-19T12:38:00.000-08:00

I must preface this post by saying 1) Beck is in his PJ's because he was asleep. I wasn't home, and he kept waking up. I came home, and he wanted to play for a little bit. 2) I don't usually feed Beck crappy food....mostly just baby food, but he's almost 1 year, so I have started to branch out to regular food a bit. He is also still super tiny for his age, so I let him eat some fatty goodness once in a while to put a little meat on his bones. So for the story....

Last night, Jennie and I brought some In N Out home for Casey for dinner. In these videos, Beck is having a very good time. At first, Casey was handing him one fry at a time, but he was also trying to eat a burger and was apparently too slow for Beck. Little one started to take his fries off the plate himself....no big deal, right? We thought it was so cute, we whipped out the camera and started recording it.

One thing to know about Casey is that he is the youngest of 5 kids....he reminds me a lot of my youngest sister, who is the youngest of six. They both very much have that "baby of the family" syndrome. Casey really likes what's "his" to be "his"...and he doesn't really like to be disturbed when he's focused on something. Which makes these two videos that much more hilarious. Me knowing this, I just let it all happen. After all, I had 2 younger siblings and plenty of nieces and nephews to interrupt my activities growing up. So I let it happen - Casey's a dad now, right? That, and I get a major kick out of it. HA!

This is the BEST one!

Happy Christmas

2009-12-16T06:31:00.000-08:00

I just want to say how grateful I am for this little guy. He's about to turn one in just a couple weeks. I am astonished at how quickly he's grown up in this past year. His life is certainly so precious. In the past couple weeks, he has learned so so so much! I can say "jah ay", which is "peek a boo" in Thai, and he'll immediately slap his little hands onto his face...in any position, rarely covering an eye. I can ask him what a monkey says and he'll say "ah ah ah" and "thhhhhhh" for a snake. I'll say "bang bang jah" (patty cake in Thai) and he'll clap his little hands together, delighted. I'm so happy and so blessed to be a mom, especially the mom of such a sweet spirit. I know that children choose their parents in the pre-existence...I am so thankful that Beck chose me.

We hope you're all having a Merry Christmas season. I hope, during this holiday, that we can keep our minds in tact with the reason we are celebrating - the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Let us be grateful for all God has given us, especially our families. This year, my dad is spending Christmas in Iraq. My little brother is on his mission in Oakland, and I am out here in Utah! Even though we can't all be together this Christmas, that doesn't keep use from loving each other and keeping each other in our thoughts. I am grateful for Casey's family to spend the holidays with; I am especially happy to celebrate Beck's first Christmas this year!

Food Blog Giveaway!!!!

2009-12-07T10:20:00.000-08:00

I am doing a Giveaway on my food blog!

I am giving away one 6" round cake and some truffles. Even if you live out of town, you can enter to win the truffles (which will be mailed to you).

All you have to do to enter is leave a comment about your favorite Christmas gift that you have received as a child, and you are automatically entered into the drawing! So, leave a comment and you could win!!!!

Click the link below to go to my Food Blog. Deadline is midnight on Wednesday of this week, so hurry!!!

FREE CAKE!!!!

Is it just me?!

2009-12-04T20:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I made this cake:

It was for my Relief Society Christmas party (which was perfectly delightful, besides the experience I will describe below). Granted, this isn't the most awesome cake ever, but I had fun making it and learned a lot in the process. I did make sure it was extremely tasty- white chocolate butter pecan with white chocolate chips, filled with cinnamon cream cheese. Sounds good enough, right? Apparently not.

Well, I was sitting at the table closest to the dessert table, and when it was time for desserts, a couple ladies at my table noticed that some other women didn't want to cut into my cake - saying it was "too pretty" (yeah yeah what ev!) I think it was because no one is quite sure how to cut a square cake...let's be honest. Anyhow, one of the sisters suggest that I go ahead and cut a few pieces to get things started. No problem, right? I was very very wrong.

There is one woman in my ward who, from the moment I arrived 2 years ago, has hated me. I have always been so sure of it. Our first interaction was when I was organizing the ward Christmas party and asked her if her auxiliary could participate in the entertainment and her response was "You're activities chair, you're supposed to do it." Shocked, I was quite relieved when one of her counselors volunteered to help out in this woman's stead.

In the past two years, we have crossed paths a few times, her usually being mean to me, me trying not to lose my cool in front of church-going folk, and then going home confused. I eventually just concluded that she might be selective with her friends and is just generally "rough" around the edges to everyone. I don't know why I thought this, I never saw her be mean to anyone else!

Back to the dessert table....I'm cutting cake and a line is formed. About 3 people down the line, I see this particular "sister" who is canoodling with another "sister" and is asking about the desserts. She says "I wonder what is in that cake?" and she and the other woman converse about it. So when they got closer, I just said, in general, "It's a white chocolate butter pecan cake with cinnamon cream cheese filling. Would you like a piece?" (that last part directed at her, who is now next in line....) Her response,"OH, NO! NO....NO WAY! huhuh! NO NO." She passed on by to another dessert, leaving me behind with my jaw dropped all the way to the floor. What the heck???????

Since when did people stop saying things like "NO, THANK YOU" when they were not interested in something??? Immediately, my mind started racing to all the vicious things I could snap back at her, but thought better of myself when I saw my Relief Society president coming up in the line. So, instead, I cut a couple more pieces, set them out, then moped back to my table to try and recover.

I have thus established, she hates me.

November.

2009-12-04T19:04:00.000-08:00

I have been bad about blogging...but things are busy. This week alone, I made two cakes, worked 40 hours and even made it to Enrichment. I can't believe it's already December. I haven't quite got my Christmas tree up yet, but tradition in my family is to get the tree up on my sister April's birthday, so that means I have until Sunday. I did spray some window snow on the mirrors and get my wreath on the door, though.

Before I get too far ahead of myself, I need to document the 11th month of Beck's life: November 2009.

Beck discovered he could crawl in the cabinets.

Beck ate spaghetti noodles for the first time. Yes, that is a noodle on his head. That means he liked it.

He learned how to bounce.

Beck became a missionary. My dad thinks the car seat straps look like a back pack.

Three teeth started cutting on top!

Casey got a face transplant. Now he looks like a tortilla.

New Moon opened...Yes, I was there.

OH, Edward....sigh...

Jennie joined me in the mayhem. I made her listen to the audio books. She's totally hooked!

Beck and his daddy looking sharp before church one Sunday.

Beck on Thanksgiving morning. He was ready for my tradition of cinnamon rolls and Macy's parade. He also really reminds me of a pic of my Grandma Suwana with that smile and those little elfish ears!

Beck and his first ever cinnamon roll! He wasn't quite sure what to do with it at first, he finally tasted it...and then was quite pleased with his findings!

Parade watching and cinnamon roll devouring.

One very tough (and now very sore) man, returning from his Turkey Bowl adventures.

Beck learned how to blow kisses for about a day, then got them confused with playing "Jah Ay" or "Peek-a-boo" to the non-Thai speaking folk. This is his attempt at covering his eyes.

He takes very much after his daddy in the "clowning" category! I've got a jokester in my hands!

I noticed Beck was holding Eeyore really close a little longer than usual....

I really can't believe that November is over and December has started. Has it really been almost a year since my life was turned up-side down? This time last year, I just remember being a whale and just wishing my little boy would arrive. Now, I tear up every time I think about how quickly he is growing. So independent, so smart, and so so so handsome. Love him.

October.

2009-11-17T20:56:00.000-08:00

Beck got mini pumpkins.

He loved them.

College Game Day came to Provo. We went, but we did not sleep in a tent in the rain.

Mal & Jadi had their baby boy, Sawyer. He's so cute.

I made some cupcakes for Casey's work. Click here to see more things like it.

We took Beck to Omniture's famous Halloween Party...Each department has a different theme. Casey's was the Simpson's - he was Snake (don't ask me...I don't really know much about that show...my Mom would never let me watch it tee hee!) I was a pixie - my dept was Peter Pan and I was from Neverland.

Beck was Max...yes, I made the costume...with a little help from some friends....but entirely my own design. If you were wondering Where the Wild Things were on Halloween, you could have called me.

Halloween morning, we went to our nephew Jake's playoff football game. We won, and we cheered so loud that Beck cried a few times, our throats were hoarse, and our feet were sore from stomping. Great game.

I made more cupcakes...they're mummies. I made a cake, too, but you'll have to click here to find it on my Food Blog.

Beck was exhausted after his "wild rumpus".

A Dog is a Little Man's Best Friend

2009-11-17T16:51:00.000-08:00

Friday the 13th

2009-11-13T10:17:00.000-08:00

I have a history of having NO LUCK. I've never so much as won a game of bingo in elementary school. I did win a mug on my brother in law's blog drawing once, but I think there were less names in that hat than there were in my class when we played bingo.

Occasionally, the wind will blow in a certain direction, drawing black cats in my direction. I'll wake up to find that it's Friday the 13th, knock over the salt when making my oatmeal, step out my door on a crack, only to look up and find that I'm standing under a ladder because the HOA just happened to decide to clean the gutters over my house at that moment. Okay, so those things didn't quite happen to me, but mainly because I've yet to go outside. But that doesn't mean that things are going my way.

Already this morning, the dog threw up on the floor and I found a hole in the bottom of my slipper. I took a bite of my "fresh" muffin I bought from Costco last night (the giant, delicious ones) and it tasted like expired foods smell....they're brand new! The baby smeared his oatmeal covered face on my sleeve and decided to make TWO stinky diapers before 9am. I have errands to run today, but I am so very tempted to just stay inside, where I can keep my "accidents" to a minimum, and hope that nothing major happens, like the roof caving in on my head.

I have my mother to thank for my minimal luck - she is just as clumsy as I am. Oh, and she named me Mallory, which happens to be Old French for "unlucky". I first learned this when I was a teenager, and it then explained why, no matter how many times I called the radio station, I was never caller 7. Now, I just don't even try.

So, as I venture out this "freaky Friday", please cross your fingers and hold onto your rabbit's foot, and hope that something "unfortunate" doesn't happen to the woman who can't win.

Today

2009-10-19T17:54:00.000-07:00

HE woke up half past seven this morning. I think I'd forgotten what his face looked like. That's what happens when you're in love with someone, you know. I opened the door to his room to see large brown eyes staring in my direction. He raised his arms towards me and indistinctly cried out maaaam... If it is possible, he was even more beautiful than I remembered him to be.

This afternoon, standing in line at the grocery store, I bounced my tired boy in my arms. They were beginng to feel weak from carrying him throughout the market. Then, he discovered my eyelashes.

I smiled at the thought...of his innocence, his naivety, his curiosity.

He smiles when he sees me. He likes to play with my rice spoons...we had a pretty good day.

Food Blog

2009-10-12T21:38:00.001-07:00

I LOVE food. Even more so, I love to make food. I have always had a passion for creating culinary masterpieces and have, many times, called my family to tell them what I was eating. We have also, on even more occasions, taken photos of the food we are eating, were eating on vacation, or even at really good restaurants. On a number of these occurrences, I have thought to myself (and maybe said aloud) "I can make this!" or "I can make this better than they can!" While I don't mean to sound holier than thou, I do think that to myself. I just know that at some point, no matter what it is I've eaten, or where it is, someone was cooking in their kitchen at home one day and created it. I have started doing this so much, that I decided to create a separate blog for them. To access this blog, you can click on my profile, or use the link below:

I love food.

Blue Balloon

2009-10-03T23:34:00.000-07:00

Ooooh, how I love this weather! I turned on my heater. Beck is now wearing jackets, and as long as he has a balloon tied to his wrist (and in a death grip between his tiny fingers), he will keep is socks on. There is no guarantee about the pants....I have yet to get that magic trick on video, but somehow, he's already figure that out.

I did, however, record his head shaking, oh, and him eating some toast. So, here is my son, munching on some toast. Don't expect a point, there isn't one.

It is very strange having a child...I really could (and often do) just watch him all day. I am fascinated by him, his thought process, his advancements- he loves to be kissed. He won't kiss back, but he will slam his forehead into my face to receive them. This has resulted in numerous fat lips (for me) and goose eggs (for him) when he misses my face and hits his head on a table, for example. He gives the BEST hugs. He wraps his little arms as tight on my shoulders as he can, squeezes with all his might, even letting out a little grunt, and kicks his legs with effort. The BEST.

Yesterday was Jennie's actual birthday, so Beck and I went to visit her at work with some lovely pink balloons and a little tiara that said "Happy Birthday" and sparkled in the most birthday-like way that could come from party store quality. Beck was adorned with his very own festive birthday cone hat, covered in little monkeys. He was also very excited about Jennie's balloons, so naturally, I decided to get him a little blue one of his own. He loved it.

Jennie and I took a little walk through Downtown Provo during her lunch break (which was actually around 2:30pm) and then Casey joined us for blackberry lemonade and glazed pumpkin bagel bites in front of Einstein Bagel (which he described, in texture, as eating a band-aid, but then proceeded to devour). It was the perfect weather for a stroll down Center Street.

Later in the eve, Jennie and I had dinner with Ashlyn to celebrate Jennie's 23rd. On the way home, Jennie and I enjoyed Starbucks, and then watched a hilarious web video about a boy whose mother cancelled his World of Warcraft account...followed by an episode of 'My Fair Wedding', in which totally trashy weddings get re-vamped by a pro. It's awesome.

Myself and Beck, during dinner- still gripping that balloon.

Us girls, and Beck!

Cheese!!!!

Happy Birthday, Jennie!

I have also been realizing just how much my son is looking more and more like his Uncle Trent (my little brother) who is on a mission. Trent and I were in high school together for one year, my senior year/his freshman, and people used to ask us if we were twins (apparently because we were the same height, that means we're the same age and either I'm a genius, or he's really stupid to be 4 grades apart), so I guess Trent and I look a lot a like. I miss him. Seeing Beck look so much like him makes me miss him even more. He's a great brother.

Beck, waving for the camera.

Myself and my little bro waaay back in the day, at an EFY dance, I think. Perhaps Summer of '03?

There have been a lot of firsts in the last nine months, as everything we do is basically Beck's first time to do it. On Monday, we're going to pick out pumpkins. Last night, we let Beck taste a little lemon.

I still miss Oklahoma.

There's Snow on the Mountains....

2009-09-30T18:27:00.000-07:00

It's not supposed to do that till Winter, but here we are snowing in Autumn anyway. Did I mention that this is my favorite season? I don't think I could ever get tired of Fall - it's the perfect time of year, and sadly, the shortest here in Utah.

So, I have lost my camera battery charger. Sadly, it is a special square Canon battery and of course, all the stores where it's less than $50, they're all out of stock, probably forever. I am in search of the battery charger. In the mean time, I have no pictures. I will keep you posted.

As usual, we've been doing a lot of things with Jennie, so she can take pics for us! We definitely love Jennie. So much, I'm going to make Trent marry her when he comes home from his mission. Arranged marriages are related to our culture, aren't they?

A couple of things we did with Jennie recently - we went to the State Fair. Jennie and I really like fried Oreos. I think the only thing that could have made them any better for her would be if the cream filling in the Oreos was orange for Halloween. Otherwise, they were delicious. We also saw a bear show while we were there, even though we missed the alligator show. That is two fairs in a row that we missed the alligator. Next year, I guess! I'm also going to be skinnier next year, so I can eat two orders of Oreos, and perhaps a deep fried cheesecake slice. I love food.

Beck and me at the fair - this bird cracks me up - I didn't know he was there when we took the picture.

I am sure he's thinking "I wont that" in his mid-western Oklahoma accent.

A few weeks after that, which just happens to be this past Saturday night, we celebrated Jennie's 23rd birthday. Her actual birthday is this coming Friday, the 2nd...but Jennie likes to celebrate for a whole week. Who wouldn't? I made the cake...it looks something like this....this is actually it.

My cake.

Me and my cake! I'm very proud of the way it turned out. It wasn't an easy project.

Jennie and her birthday cake! Poor Beck, it was waaaaay past his bedtime. He was a trooper to be up so late!

Us girls (and of course, Beck)

(from left, Jennie, Jessica & Me)

Jennie, the birthday girl! She looked super hot in her pink dress (everyone else wore black and white).

The party was complete with 'Mocktails' - the non-alcoholic version of cocktails...and even my dear husband as bartender. He's a good sport, too. Sadly, Jennie's camera ran out of space, so we didn't get a pic of him mixing drinks - next time...because I think we'll have to do it a next time! For the party, I did provide my chocolate fountain and we had a delicious arrangement of pink (strawberry) marshmallows, some fruit, pretzels and some candy to boot. It was a pretty stinkin' great time.

Jennie and I also took a cake class, of which, you saw my first cake in my last post. I took pictures on my phone of my other cakes, but I haven't uploaded them to the computer yet. They all turned out pretty cute - we learned how to make a number of different flowers, including roses, and borders. I did take some liberties with Jennie's birthday cake, though - I made fondant, which is not in our class, and I piped the bottom tier of my own accord. It turned out a little more swanky than I would have liked-which was more my personality coming out of the end of the piping bag. I wanted it to be a little more dainty and girly - because that is a little more Jennie...and it was her birthday party, after all. So, I'm working on that...my next big cake will be for Uncle Jeff's chili party on Halloween. I'm open for ideas...I have a few already - what are yours?

I have also decided that I am going to paint my entire downstairs in the next few months. We bought a desk that won't fit up our stairs, so we had to put it downstairs and it throws off my whole color scheme. Besides, I am enjoying my creative experiments. Now I just need some swatches.

Let Them Eat Cake

2009-09-13T23:00:00.000-07:00

Football season. In my youth, I loved this time of year. I loved walking down a fully packed Lindsey Street on my way to campus. The sides of the street were (and probably are right now) lined with canopies and trailers from all the fans tailgaiting, eating and getting drunk. It is a sea of crimson and creme that causes the adrenaline to pulse through my veins like they were connected to an electric pump. While the walk isn't actually far, in my excitement, it often seemed to take days to arrive at my destination: Owen Field. Each Saturday was a new game and a new adventure. I miss it more and more with each season that passes.

These days, Saturday is "my" time. My dear husband is not only a fan of football, he is (in the most affectionate and literal ways) obsessed. He wants to watch all games if he can. Specifically, BYU and possibly join me in an OU game, too. Needless to say, most of the day, my husband and usually the television are both occupied and so I have to find something else to do. Last year, I joined Casey at a few games, but was so pregnant, the heat was miserable. Not to mention my only BYU shirt is a child's size large and made me look like Winnie the Pooh. I only wish I'd taken a picture. This year, I've decided to occupy my time by taking a cake decorating class with my friend, Jennie. I really like cake, and I'd really like Beck to have an awesome birthday cake this year - so I decided to take up this new hobby. I've always enjoyed cooking and sometimes baking - mostly I just like eating.....but I have felt the need to have a new creative outlet and I think this one suits me just fine. While this particular cake (my very first) isn't quite my decorating style, it is the technique I'm trying to master...and hopefully I'll only get better and then I can really make cakes my way.

Also, I am spending my time on this website....http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

Here is cake #1 - lesson in piping

PS - the pattern was just one sunflower...I did the medley on my own!

My son, excited about all the cake he won't eat

Again, my son, but here I think he is pretending to attack, perhaps as Nacho Libre?

I know he's mine, but I'll toot the horn - too cute! (notice Harry the picture gopher again?)

I miss Oklahoma.

On My Mind

2009-08-29T17:40:00.000-07:00

I recently saw a popular (and fantastic) photographer here in Utah looking for "talented" bloggers. For about two seconds, I got very excited at the opportunity - even though I have no idea what it was for. Then I immediately thought about my recent blogs posts, of which I would use as an example of my work. While I of course think my little baby monkey is the best subject a person could ask for, I realized that my posts are void of actual topic or conversation. They're also missing one of my favorite ingredients - passion.

I find that the most intriguing articles are those in which the author has a real interest in what he or she is writing. Lately, I find myself not being very interested in anything worthy of note. Thus, not having any truly fantastic posts in recent months. To be honest, I have been seeking to enrich my life with new projects. A few weeks ago, I learned how to make jam and this past week, I learned how to can peaches...delicious peaches.....(sigh). Next, I'm going to try cake-making. I think it is wise to have both food storage and a greater knowledge of subjects previously unconquered.

In the past year, my life has been turned completely upside-down with job changes, baby birth, and trying to hold on to who I am individually while effortlessly having a life consumed with doing what is best for my son. (PS I'm very proud to announce that Beck has consciously made his first sign in baby sign language - "all done").

Sometimes I wonder what I should be blogging about. I see people promoting their favorite goods and best finds, others about their daily happenings (isn't that what Twitter is for?), and then those like mine, that have been consumed with the ever so cute activities of an off-spring. Other times, I wonder if I should be blogging at all. Isn't it self-centered enough that I post my life all over Facebook? Food for thought.

On a lighter, more exciting note...a historic day is coming up on September 5, exactly one week from today. My favorite football team (and alma mater) is playing Casey's favorite team for the second time in history. I've held my tongue for the months that I've known this game was coming up, and now that it's only a week away, I can hold my tongue no longer. I am stoked - BYU is going down! Go Sooners! I'll be cheering on from far away - surrounded by Texas and BYU fans - and of course, Jennie, who is a University of Utah fan (which means she's anti-BYU). The tension will be high in our household this week! But at least Casey is outnumbered (me, Beck and the pups will be sporting our OU gear all week!). Go Oklahoma!!!!

Friends

2009-08-24T22:33:00.000-07:00

Once again, I apologize that my posts have become somewhat unimaginative...and mostly about my little boy. I just don't have a lot of time to get out and about and take pictures of much more than him. And besides, he is the apple of my eye....why wouldn't I take a million pictures to document every moment he breathes?!?!

Anyway, I put him to bed the other night with his favorite giraffe. The other stuffed animals are usually around the perimeter of the crib, so he won't feel alone when he goes to sleep at night...I just know I liked them when I was little. He normally just snuggles with the one giraffe, and is parallel with the longer sides of the crib. But the other night, Casey went in to check on him to find that he actually was feeling a little lonely....

I promise, this is not at all staged...and I had the monitor on the whole time - I didn't hear a peep. He just wanted to snuggle with his friends.

I Thought I Was Tired

2009-08-21T22:46:00.000-07:00

There must be a gas leak in our house, because this behavior seems to be a trend around our house. We're all very busy around our house. Consequently, we're all pretty tired. The photos say it all.

This is Beck earlier in the day - hanging out. He stood, ALL BY HIMSELF for a full two seconds.

It was dinner time- and he started acting all loopy and giggly....(Harry's the picture gopher)

Then leaning a little and getting kind of droopy....

Out like a light!

Poor kid. I totally know how this feels.

PS...does this baby look a little familiar? Beck is defniitely mine! (The pics below are of me)

Facebook Snobs

2009-08-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

I am a Facebook snob. Casey is an even bigger Facebook snob. I could have written this article, and while I didn't, I am most pleased with Brandon Griggs with CNN who did. I wish I had more to say, but there isn't a lot more to say about it.

For the rest of you snobs and even for you guilty (you do know who you are)....enjoy.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/08/20/annoying.facebook.updaters/index.html

Too Tired to Blog

2009-08-16T22:23:00.000-07:00

I thought about 5 or so different things that I want to blog about....but I'm ever so tired tonight and I won't really have much time in the next few days to blog. So, I decided that I would post a few pics of what we've been up to lately, which isn't too much - just working, playing, more working, hanging out with Jennie, and handing out Jennie's phone number to worthy, eligible bachelors. Jennie, Beck and me went to a wedding reception this week, Jennie bought Beck his first Pooh Bear and Eeyore, and my sisters came to visit two weeks ago. Sadly, I kept forgetting my camera on our adventures, but I was able to capture a few moments. I do blog to share my thoughts and to keep in touch with my friends, so do forgive me for the lack of thought, but here is a little update:

Beck exhausted himself during playtime. He was watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, up against the side as he usually does, only, he fell asleep...

He's always SO happy.

Going to a wedding reception for one of my friends. Beck is wearing one of Casey's ties -

Beck hangs on the side of his pack'n play with one arm and picks everything up with his feet...our little monkey. So, naturally, I bought him monkey pj's.

Hiking to Bridal Veil falls when my sisters were here - this is my 9yr old nephew, Austin, who is clearly the same size as Casey.

I didn't get a lot of pics of my sisters...I kept forgetting my camera! But here is Lauren, after our hike, with (from left) Abby, Blythe, Beck and Austin.

All the cousins LOVE Beck - and he loves them so much, too! He talks to them a lot and of course smiles and plays with them.

Beck, clearly bored now that his cousins are gone. Come back, Lala and Ghee!

Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes.

2009-08-01T18:11:00.000-07:00

Ah, life. So very many things have happened in ours in just the past few weeks. Casey has changed jobs twice, and I have started a new one at Casey's company (temporarily). There has been a lot of stress with everything that is going on and I've obviously been too busy and too exhausted to blog. Sometimes there are more important things in life than actually documenting it. But there are other times when it's nice to look back and read about where we were and what we were thinking at a particular stage. Sometimes I look at old posts - some a few years back and think about just how carefree we used to be. No kids, both working, and what seemed to be all the opportunities in the world and no timetable in which to pursue them. It seemed easier back then. I was also a lot skinnier back then.

Life happens. If we don't learn to move along with it, we can have a very unhappy ride. I've learned so much in the last few months. I've learned a lot about myself, about Casey and about what we're capable of as a couple and as a family. With all the job starting and switching, we've been talking more and more on what we want to do with our lives. Not for just right now, but for our future with our kids and even with our grandkids. I like the progress we've made and I'm so grateful that we've learned it all in such a short period of time. It's really the times like this, when adversity is at one of its highest points, where I am so grateful for my choice in companionship. While we don't always agree on how to do things, we usually agree on what is right and what will be best in the end.

Strangely enough, I'm also grateful for humility. For those tough love lessons that remind you what your priorities are and in some cases, help you realize what you want them to be. Some people can understand what those responsibilities are from the beginning, but I think we all have to experience a little Job from time to time to keep us in check. And for that, I am, again, so grateful.

I've also remembered how fun the little things in life can be. Like baby bums....

Goodnight Moon

2009-07-02T22:22:00.000-07:00

When I was little, I shared a room with my little brother for a while. Although our bedtime was around 8:30pm, Trent and I would stay up playing games, talking and giggling, a lot. After a period of time, we'd hear our parents walking down the hall and for fear of getting in trouble for still being awake, we would pretend to be asleep. Our door would open, and I heard them standing there for a while and sometimes whispering to themselves. After a few minutes, the door would close and the giggling would resume, even more so, now that we'd avoided being caught.

I always assumed that my parents were making sure we were asleep and not playing around like we actually were. I never questioned the length of their "checking" time, only taking pleasure in its length as it created more suspense. It was quite the rush for a five year old, as one can imagine.

Since then, I've never really given it much thought-I have had no reason to. But lately, I find myself spending a lot of time in a barely lit nursery, gazing into Beck's crib. Sometimes when I lay him down to sleep, I feel like I am leaving a part of myself in that room. I then have to convince myself that it's okay to go downstairs or to my own bed and let him sleep there alone.

Sometimes, Casey and I will watch him. I can't explain why we do this exactly, but to say that I get it now should suffice.

Ugh.

2009-07-01T19:39:00.000-07:00

I'm realizing more and more than my blog is becoming boring boring. If only there was something interesting to talk about. I feel like Summer is just the time to relax, lay back and have some lemondaide (pink in my case) and to not worry about blogging or much else.

Beck and I spend most of our days playing, reading, walking, cleaning and generally doing those things that a stay-at-home mom and baby do when there is only one child around. I feared that staying at home with him would be boring...and to me, it's anything but! I am realizing, however, that it must be very boring from the outside...for goodness's sake, I don't even have anything to blog about besides playing with my kid and what I am and am not watching on TV. Speaking of which, I did start watching America's Got Talent and I'm totally hooked. The other night Casey and I started an episode and I fell asleep about 10 minutes before it was over. About 45 minutes later, Casey woke me up to guide me upstairs to bed. I noticed his nose was stuffy and his eyes were swollen and red. When I asked him what he'd been doing for the past 45 min, he almost started up the waterworks....turns out there was an oh, so moving group of contestants on AGT that he watched over and over and over. These three kids' mother had been hit by a drunk driver and the mom was in a coma for about 9 months (then she woke up). The kids would visit her at the hospital and sing to her at her bedside. Eventually, they began singing to a number of other patients at the hospital and now have a little singing group. There was an older brother who was 14, another brother who was 12, and then a 9 yr-old little girl, who had some incredible pipes. After they sang, they got a standing ovation - and then the crowd started chanting "BRING MOM OUT! BRING MOM OUT!" and so they did....the mother is now confined to a wheelchair and is severly physically challenged and perhaps a little mentally challenged - or so it seems. Anyhow, Casey could barely blubber out the story and then made me watch it over and over and over the next day. It was very moving - and I am really glad to have married a man who isn't afraid to express himself emotionally.

On a lighter note, Casey has decided that Beck looks like Zipper (the little fly) from Talespin.

Swing Swing

2009-06-24T21:18:00.000-07:00

Well we had a fantastic time Oklahoma. I miss it so much already! It is pretty difficult to live so far from my family. I wish so much that I could hang out with my sisters and my sweet little nieces and nephews more often. It was so hard to leave!!!

Beck had a lot firsts while we were there - for one, he got to swing for the first time. I had him in the Baby Bjorn (of which they recently came out with all kinds of colors but only had the standard black, white and brown when we bought ours....bummer) for our walk on campus, and then we decided to swing at the dorms. Beck loved swinging - he had the hugest grin and well, you'll see. Sorry the video is sideways - that is Casey's doing. Just listen carefully (you may have to pause the music at the bottom of the blog).

Beck also went swimming for the first time. The first time, he was just fine, although the water was slightly chilly. He was doing alright until Casey cannon-balled right next to us and then he started screaming and didn't like it anymore. So, of course, we took him inside. We tried again a few days later and enjoyed himself a lot more. Since then, my friend Jennie and I took him to the pool here in Utah and he finally figured out how to splash and he loves it now.

I just love this pic of him - he's such a happy boy. But what baby wouldn't be happy with that nice tan? His daddy is so jealous of it!

We also celebrated Casey's and Jared's birthdays, which are only a day apart (Abby's is the day before Casey's, but she was celebrating in the Magic Kingdom....jealous!)

We decided to tease Casey a little bit and have Carly play one of his favorite guilty pleasure songs while Evan got in his face and sand to him as cheesily as possible. I did use the phrase "Make it awkward" when asking Evan to sing. It was awkward - and also hilarious!

Here is precious Blythe, enjoying the show.
Casey and Beck with Casey's birthday cake (We had a bigger one for Jared since it was the day of his bday- we did have brownies the day before for Casey. We kind of like to eat a lot in my family!)
Little Jared shoving icing on his brain. He did burst into screams about a half second after this photo was taken and his mommy had to sweep him away to help him blow his nose. He's such a goober.

After we came home, I took Beck to the park around the corner here in our edition. He got to swing in the baby swing all by himself for the very first time! Check out his face - do you think he likes it? (And yes, I padded the swing with blankets - I didn't want him to bust his face OR lick the dirty swing)

Beck has also taken to watching Mickey Mouse. He first saw it in the hotel on the way to Oklahoma and his cousins Jared and Blythe love it, too. Hot dog!

Here is Beck in the hotel, he kept talking to the TV

And Beck watching Mickey during playtime. That ring toy always ends up around his leg - crazy kid. He DOES play with his toys with his feet - I've caught him with one toy in his hands and another between his feet on a few occasions.
And here is a video of Beck enjoying Mickey - and doing a little fake crying when he sees me and realizes that I'm not holding him. I'm sure it looks bad that I already let my 6 month old watch TV, but ask Casey - this baby's watched TV since the day we brought him home. That is definitely a trait he inhereted from his daddy. Beck has also learned how to army crawl. This kid is faster than you think. While I was once able to lay him on the couch momentarily to do something, I then had to put him on the floor for fear of him rolling over. Within a week I now have to put him in the pack-n-play because he can scoot in a matter of seconds and pull all the movies down.

Oh, and did I mention the bottle of soy sauce he pulled out of the fridge the other day? I made the mistake of holding him outward when I went for a snack and in a split second, there was a large bottle of shattered soy sauce on the floor - remnants of which shot into my ankle slashing it open. The cut wasn't that bad once I washed off the salty soy and gushing blood, but you should have seen the look on that boy's face. He knew immediately that what he just did was a no no. I even felt very sad for him while he fussed in his packnplay while I cleaned it all up. Lesson learned....and at least it wasn't the fish sauce.

Anyway, here's the video.

Well that is the update with us. Other than that, we're enjoying summer. I've also been enjoying my draped (and now pleasantly dark) living room and my new digital thermostat, which I installed and programmed myself (and am ever so proud of - but I'm the one that threw an oversized bouncy ball at the old one and busted it - so I should fix it :) ).

This weekend, I'm going to attempt replacing ignition coils in my husband's car. For reals. If you have any tips on doing this, please let me know. Otherwise, I'm depending on a combination of the manufacturer's user manual, Google and Youtube. I'll let you know how it goes.

I Wish it Wasn't Over

2009-06-23T21:15:00.000-07:00

So I've only been watching this show for a week, but I'm already so sad that it's over. I love having a dvr. I recorded most of the episodes since they played them all day before the finale last Tuesday night. Tonight was the reunion episode. I am SO addicted and I hope that they bring it back next season!

If it isn't bad enough that Casey wants to be a mafia gangster (thank you Sopranos), I would now love to be the wife of Casey the mafia man. Or in the least, the wife of a wealthy Casey living in New Jersey.

Now, I want to start watching the New York Housewives. Although, I already know I will be wishing to be one of them, too!

We're in Oklahoma!

2009-06-07T21:32:00.000-07:00

Boy oh boy, this is a great state! Beck and I will be here for one more week and we're excited for Casey to join us on Wednesday! We miss him...

Adjustments

2009-05-18T21:29:00.000-07:00

Some people might say that I am a little stong minded. Some...people.

I moved out here to Utah in September of 2005. My job at the time let me transfer from the Norman location to the closest Utah location- Springville, which, at the time was a good 15-20 minute commute from where I was living. That was pretty long considering I only worked at Cracker Barrel. Very quickly, I got a job in Provo at a software company called Novell. Most people in the software business around here have gotten their start there I think. I also got a seasonal position at Pier 1 (where at least four other Livingston's have also worked at one time - including Casey). Yes, I worked three jobs for around four months.

I worked hard- and I learned to like it. Most of the time, I didn't really love the actual job, but I certainly came to appreciate having one...or three of them. Eventually, I was able to settle in here and into just one job at a company that was once called Altiris. I worked very hard there, too. While I started there in pretty much a glorified data entry position, I learned to love it. I loved the people I worked with and I like to think I did pretty good with the work that was given. I appreciate that position for a number of reasons - especially for the friends I made that are still very dear to me. I've since had two other jobs and I have loved them both.

Moving into different sales positions, first supporting sales representatives and then being the representative myself, I got very used to calculating my daily progress. I could leave work at the end of the day with concrete evidence of what I did good and what I needed to improve on. Both of these things kept me driven and also gave me a sense of accomplishment. I love that.

Well, now I am my own boss. I am the president of my own organization, Livingston Enterprises. We are a non-profit organization. Which means, I'm a stay at home mom that is stuggling just a little bit with how to gauge myself. Beck certainly keeps me busy each day, but the structure is entirely different each day and my progress isn't tracked by anyone (since I am the president-we do have a board of directors, Harry and Pete, but they aren't too critical, they stay happy as long as they get their walks and snuggles in). To be honest, I'm stuggling a little bit with the adjustment. First off, work was a big part of my social outlet. Since Kindergarten, my report cards have all had a common note from my teachers, said bluntly, I would talk too much. Working in sales was the perfect outlet for my excessive need to be social. While I so much enjoy interacting with other adults, I am also a little shy when it comes to instigating new relationships. Which is why I loved being forced to work as a team with people. I had to get to know them, and usually I liked them. But what now? There are a lot of women in my ward that I'd love to get to know, but it's choosing that particular day and doing more than just saying to myself that I need to call someone and make friends. I know I need to get on that. It was just so much easier before. I liked it.

Here's the other thing - which exposes my neurotic and perhaps obsessive behaviors. I feel like I have lost control over a HUGE element in my life. While I am not worried about making ends meet, there is still a part of me that doesn't like not bringing in money. I can't control what comes in. The great lesson with this, however, is that I'm really learning to trust. For the first time in my adult life, I have to completely depend on another person for my (our) finances. It's actually very humbling for me. While Casey and I have always been a very close team in pretty much all aspects of our marriage, this one one thing I had that was independent of him. I guess I felt like I still had a "life". I was not only independent of him, but I was an indepenedent woman. A stronger woman. A working woman who had control of her life.

What am I now? I don't like that question as much...How about what should I be now? What am I working to be now? A loving, dedicated wife and mother who trusts her husband now in all aspects. I'm a woman who is trying to redefine herself so she can maintain her independence. Without that, what do I have to contribute?

As I am letting go of my obsessive compulsive behavior and learning to depend on my sweet, sweet husband, I hope I am becoming a stronger person. These are some muscles I've never flexed before and now I am really having to work them out. One thing I do know for sure, my job as a mom is the most important one I've ever had. All the adjustments are worth it to me so I can be the best mother I know how to be.

It's so interesting how life changes. We've experienced change our whole lives. Every day we get a little older, our minds and bodies changing with each moment, and somehow, we can still be surprised by the different things that happen.

Don't think that just because I'm no longer in an office that I'm not hard at work...my laundry and dishes have never had such great turn around! My house has also never been so decorated! I am channeling my energies back to our main hub and really trying to make this a better place to live. Seriously, if I'm going to be here most of the day, I'd like it to be pleasant!

Now come on, what wouldn't I do for this face?

Proud Mother Moment

2009-05-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

So Beck had his 4 month doctor appointment earlier this month. At the appointment, the doctor was quite taken with Beck (as he usually is- great bedside manner) and how social Beck is. Beck just jabbers and grins through the whole appointment - until they start sticking little needles in his thighs...I hate that part, too.

During the appointment, the doctor asks if Beck can roll onto one side, then if he can roll over completely. Can he push up his off his chest when he lays on his stomach? My answer was 'no' to all of this. First off, Beck HATES tummy time. HATES it. He immediately starts screaming at me. I usually will lay down and play with him while he's on his tummy to try and prolong picking him up so he'll get stronger. Well, since I am not working outside the home, I pretty much hold Beck all the time - except between the hours of 8pm and 5:30am, when we are both knocked out in our own beds...for the most part. I'm sure most babies get to play a lot in their cribs when they wake up, but Beck doesn't sleep for long unless he's swaddled...oh and because I pick him up to play when he wakes up.

Anyhow, I've been seeing all these babies around his age that have rolled over, pushed themselves up and I was worried Beck might be behind. I was quite comforted when the good doc told me that he isn't behind and that many babies will sit up and scoot on their bums instead of crawl (and I demonstrated how well Beck is sitting up...although he tips over easily). He said that sitting up and holding up his head is a little advanced, so it all evens out. He also said that holding him all the time is just as good as him rolling over, so not to worry. While that did make me feel better, I still worried a bit- I do want Beck to have the opportunity to roll over and crawl and such. So, I just kept trying - as much as he would have it, at least. After a few weeks now of practicing, I am quite pleased to post the following video. You saw it here first, folks....

In an earlier attempt, Beck scooted a couple inches forward - so he may crawl after all! haha Even if he doesn't, he's still doing great. During the course of this post, Beck has twice successfully pulled my glasses off my face-even with me dodging his little fingers. He's also pulled my hair out of its ponytail and put his binky in his mouth on his own! Yes, yes, I'm very proud.

So the Battle Begins....who will win?

2009-05-14T12:19:00.000-07:00

Is it going to be me or the swimsuit? While there is nothing in the world that I'd ever trade my baby for, there are a lot of things that I would trade to get my old body back. Since giving birth, 4 1/2 months ago, I have lost over 30lbs. Hooray, right? I thought so until I realized that it's summer and it's bathing suit season.

There are not many other activities that I love doing quite as much as I love swimming. Last year while I was prego, I only got to swim like, 3 times. Sad. This year, I plan on swimming oh, almost every day! I have two problems. First, I want to wear something like this:

And second, I have some things leftover from pregnancy that look like this:

BTW, this is Katie Holmes...I thought she'd be the least gross to show. The good news about this pic is that she also has a little tummy cushion- good to know.

So I'm going to Oklahoma in a few weeks. There will be swimming. While I look alright in similar bathing suit, I certainly don't look like the girl wearing it in that picture. Especially with those purplish marks all over my hips (thankfully, my belly came out of the ordeal nearly unscathed!).

Strangely enough, however, after being pregnant and topping the scales at a number I refuse to disclose, I have much more confidence in my body. I have been wearing cotton dresses that I once, at 95lbs thought I looked fat in and threw to the back of my closet. For some reason, now, I take a lot more pride in my body - just how it is. I know I could always be healthier, which is why I am exercising regularly and eating healthy. Skipping the sweets and eating fresh fruits and veggies instead.

While I think many of us would say it's great to happy with the body God gave you and stop trying to look like those gorgeous giraffes on the runway, I kind of worry myself a bit. Am I tooconfident? Where should I draw the line between healthily thin and bikini worthy? Or is that line drawn with stretch marks?

While I fear just a little that I might be the girl at the pool everyone is wishing would put her sarong back on, I also feel a little pride in what my body has been through. Pregnancy, labor, androughly 40lbs more than I was supposed to gain during that time. And now, 30lbs off- (about 10-15 to go!). I just don't know if I have enough pride to go strutting the evidence around a public pool. Or do I? Perhaps I'd feel better strutting in a suit like this?

Sigh.

Oh Baby My Baby

2009-05-02T23:19:00.000-07:00

The other night, as I was putting Beck to bed, we'd finished our books and the room had gotten dark. I looked down at the bundle in my arms, who was staring back at me with wide, dark eyes. It was well beyond his bedtime and we'd already been rocking for about a half hour. The room was now too dark to read any more books, so I decided to tell Beck a story. In other words, I was sitting in the dark with my baby talking to myself. So I decided to make it a good story.

I started with the night before he was born. As I described how I felt just before he was born, he finally started to drift off. Not quite asleep yet, I continued my story. I told Beck how happy we were to finally have him here and when I said he was the most beautiful baby boy I'd ever seen, he had the hugest grin under his little blue binky.

Beck turned 4 months old last Tuesday. When I say that over to myself, I realize that four months isn't much time, but I don't know how to explain to my heart that this little boy hasn't been with me forever. It's so strange now to think about a life before Beck. The thing is, I feel like he has always been here with me, just waiting for his turn on Earth. And this 'mom' job, it isn't as scary as I thought it would be. He fits perfectly in our life and in our family. Now, if he would just stop sucking on those fingers and drooling.........

Bye Bye Good-Bye

2009-04-24T19:48:00.000-07:00

I've recently picked up one of my favorite day-time TV shows again. It's been about 2 years since I have watched it, so I did have to get online and get the updates for the last couple years...they were AWESOME. I will choose not to elaborate on the details, but I will just say that some of them involve twins that have two separate fathers, lots of brain-washing, and some borderline incestual relationships. I'm not proud of it, but I love it.

Anyhow, my point....I have been noticing lately that on this show, the characters never say "bye"or any other conversation ender at the conclusion of a telephone conversation. They simply just hang up the phone when they're done. Who do they think they are???

I also noticed this on some of my other TV shows- on SATC, they don't say "good-bye" either. And I'm supposed to pretend that this is anything like real life? While I know it isn't real life, part of watching a TV show or movie is how it takes you into someone else's life or some times a different world for a little while. I'm not that into fantasy...so why am I watching shows that are so far fetched? I don't know that there is a real answer to that...especially since these shows include 30-something women that are all easily uber successful and living in Manhattan or are a twenty-something dating their adopted uncle. Anyhow, I have decided to no longer have a definite end to my phone conversations. I'll just hang up when I feel like I'm done.

Furthermore, there are a number of very hunky men that have been added to the cast of my fave day time show in the past two years...and there is one in particular that I found was able to stick around since I first started watching the show. He is a British actor who is oh, so gorgeous and probably one of my most favorite evil characters ever. Today, as I was indulging in my fantasy world, I wondered if his accent was real (that's how I found out he is actually British and isn't faking it). In doing so, I started to uncover more and more about him. Turns out he was a model back in Europe and once visited LA and then decided he wanted to move here and become an actor. I found his very first acting job and it kind of brought me back to the real world. So he was at an audition for a commercial with a friend, and when the producers of this commercial saw him, they decided he would be perfect as the Dasani water "camel". Check this out....CLICK HERE.

He's also in the first guy in this commercial [click here] HUNKY, right? I just wish there were more appropriate clips of his shirtless cameos from the TV show....

Yum, right?

Love

2009-04-17T22:12:00.001-07:00

Casey kissed me first. I'm a lady-I would never make the first move. Our first kiss was in an Albertson's parking lot- (kind of kills that "lady" statement, doesn't it?) It really is a good story. He was only visiting Oklahoma and a girl he was working with (had no interest in-she was just his boss) asked him to buy her as much Peach Nehi as her provided cash would supply. He used it as an excuse to ask me to roam about town in the late hours, after all our friends had gone home. I didn't care what the reason, wild horses couldn't have kept me away from him that night.

The next evening, he was leaving back to Utah. After dinner at a friend's, we drove a few blocks away to a middle school parking lot to talk and have a proper goodbye. We were listening to Counting Crows (The Live CD from NY). It was autumn and it was raining, as all somber moments seem to be. We held hands, not really saying much for a while. I remember leaning my head on his shoulder, listening to the music,

Have you seen me lately?

I was out on the radio starting to change
Somewhere out in America, it's starting to rain
Could you tell me one thing you remember about me
I remember me
And all the little things that make up a memory
Like she said she loved to watch me sleep...

It was the live version, so it is much slower than the original and it seemed like the words just hung in the air, burning my soul with every second that they lingered. He was leaving- and I wanted to remember. Everything. All those little things....I'd never seen him sleep, but to my own surprise, I wanted to. I wanted to know everything about him. It broke my heart to know he was just going to go. I wondered if he'd ever even look back when he drove away. I knew I wanted him to. Then I heard it, as clear as if the owner of this voice was saying it softly in my ear, "You should marry him". It's difficult to say who or what planted this thought in my vulnerable mind, but I felt it in my heart before the words were spoken.

Casey drove me home. Parked in the street in front of my parent's driveway, he leaned on the side of his little black car, holding my hands, looking down at his feet. I knew he knew. We didn't have to say it. I'm not sure either of us knew how.

I wrote my phone number on a small piece of paper, sure he was going to lose it. I stood at the end of the driveway, watching him drive off down the street. I wished he wouldn't go, but secretly I knew I'd see him again.

Could you tell me one thing you remember about me
Just one thing you remember about me
Just one thing you remember about me
One thing you remember about me
Remember about me

Ten minutes passed...my phone rang. He just wanted to make sure the number worked... Lame excuse.

Wildlife Overload

2009-04-09T21:54:00.000-07:00

My back yard isn't much of a back yard. I'd have taken a picture, but I still haven't picked up the boxes from our swing. It's a patio, with alternating concrete and bricks. We can comfortably fit our patio swing, a small charcoal grill, and garden in this space, and still have a little room for perhaps an end table or two for drinks. In the past week, we've been invated by mice, wasps, and now birds. What's the deal? Isn't there a bigger nature palace more desirable than my very humanized, paved space? Here's how I discovered there was a problem...

In the few days Casey and I were assembling said patio swing, there was a day that it was put together without the canopy. That evening when we went to finish these pieces, I noticed that our back fence and the swing seat were both COVERED in bird doo doo. Yes, doo doo. I reckoned they'd been sitting on the support beams of the swing and were too lazy to fly anywhere else-so they defecated where they stood. Agh! I assumed they belonged in the tree just around the house, outside my bedroom window (that a bird last year flew into early one Saturday morning...only to be injured and later killed by my dog a few days later...that was a traumatizing event for a pregnant woman...). So I knew there were birds, but at the time, I was mostly concerned with a mouse. I killed the mouse. A few days later, Beck and I were out enjoying our swing when I noticed some wasps buzzing in and out from under one of the overhanging rocks of my garden. I took Beck inside and then came back out armed with wasp poison. Once they were eliminated, Beck and I could enjoy our swing again. I kept hearing birds, but I couldn't find the nest.

Beck enjoying the swing

Some time later, I was watching a recorded episode of Oprah (Yes, Oprah....and I watched itbefore the baby, too). Towards the end of the episode, the screen just blacked out. There was nothing. I didn't understand it. Only a few minutes later, as I'm watching the news, it happens again. It was a little windy that day, so I just assumed that the wind was messing with our sattelite. Oh well and better weather tomorrow right? Fortunately, it was.

Thankful for the warm weather, Beck and I sat on our swing to read some library books, when suddenly, I noticed pieces of straw falling down into the garden in front of me. When I looked up, I saw this:

I am guessing that they've already laid some eggs, so I could never knock that nest out. But here's my biggest concern...the bird that almost got eaten (and didn't live through the ordeal) was a baby bird that I think was trying to fly. It hit the window, then decided to live in my tomato plants until Harry found it. I'm just worried that if they're at all on the ground, either a bird will be eaten, or a dog's going to be pecked and then I'm going to have to knock out a nest. I also don't want to spend my summer sitting in bird doo doo. It's bad enough I already had to clean up enough to fill the aviary at the zoo. I'm also worried that my tv will keep blacking out...I don't pay for a sattelite just so the birds can live in it-although it looks that way.

First of all, why the heck is all this wildlife coming after me??? Second, how do I get rid of birds without hurting them? I want them to leave on their own accord. Any ideas on how to persuade them?

Twitterpated?

2009-04-06T10:38:00.000-07:00

What's the deal with Twitter?

I first heard of Twitter while watching one of my favorite shows, Ellen. Ellen has taken 'twittering' or 'tweeting' to a whole new level. She has a guy (Andy) update her tweets while the show is being filmed. Last week, she hid tickets to the show at a bus stop, posted a Tweet about them and then waited for the guests to arrive. On another day, she hid more tickets, but in order to come to the show, the guest had to be dressed as a super hero. This kind of twittering = fun.

I do kind of like how Twitter is coming up with their own twittering dictionary. Like how a 'twee-deo' is a video. Or a Twit-pic is a photo. There is something new every time you login.

But let's be honest...there isn't much to Twitter, which might be what so many people like about it. There isn't the muss and fuss of a full profile. I can just throw down what's going on or what I am thinking in a certain moment and call it done. Although, I kind of feel like I'm missing something...like there should be more to it than just leaving a quick thought. Not only that, but half the time when I log on, I get a page that tells me the site is too busy and to try back later. This kind of twittering = not fun.

Then there's the idea of why anyone would want to know so much about what I am doing all day? Who has the time to make all those updates? Who has the time to read all of everyone else's updates? This then brings a whole new perspective to Facebook...who has time to keep up that profile that Twitter is missing?

What it really comes down to isn't so much that we want to see what everyone else is doing or not doing-it's that we want people to see what it is that we are doing. I'll admit that I am in this boat...I have a blog that I'm writing to prove it! Yes, I want people to read my posts and comment. Yes, I want people to look and make comments on my pics and status on Facebook. Granted, most of these people are just my family and closest friends-but still...Even if I don't want to admit it to myself most of the time, I know that I secretly want people to notice me...or my profile.

It is a very interesting concept-this generation that wants to put themselves out there for the world to see. It makes me wonder what makes this age group so different from those before us. Do we have this desire to be watched just because we have the technology? Or is it because we think we are just that interesting, gosh darn it? My entire life, I have been extremely shy when I am being watched or in large groups. I love going to parties and hanging out with friends-unless the party is for me. In which case, I feel extremely awkward and embarrassed, even if there isn't anything to be embarrassed about. The logical side of me loves and appreciates the party, but there is always that part of me that exerts this emotion I can't get rid of. Luckily, most of my life I have shared my birthday celebrations. My grandmother's is the day after mine and now-a-days, I share the day with my mother-in-law. That takes the pressure off a little.

Strangely enough, however, I feel no pressure in having online profiles (although I keep the private stuff private) and no embarrassment in having a blog or even Twittering. Is it because my audience can't see me? Or perhaps because I can't see them?

Whatever the reason, we cannot ignore that the people in this world are vastly different than they used to be and as far as I've considered, it's only getting worse. While I know I'm not perfect, I do try to keep the things I don't want people to know or that might be incriminating in any way to myself. Oddly, many people decide to put everything out there on their public forums. I've seen people advertise their new handheld devices, cars, major household appliances, even televisions and other expensive electronics. On the other side of the spectrum, I've seen people write rude things about their jobs, boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, losing their jobs and even posting information about a struggling financial situation-out there for all the world to see. I've seen people post hurtful things about their friends and family -and again- I wonder why are we doing this? What is keeping us from speaking to these people directly is that we now have the ability to be more passive aggressive than ever before. We can say exactly what we want and still not have to confront the person we're saying it to. Wasn't it bad enough to get broken up with over the telephone? Now we have to deal with sharing the details on our profiles for everyone in our networks to see. If it was only 5 years ago, would we have advertised all these things so easily? It seems like the longer this technology is available, the more information we put out there about ourselves. Here, now, with Twitter and Facebook status, we've got our personal information to update minute by minute, as our lives unfold.

I suppose, it's only a matter of time before the inventions will be giving me the updates about my own life.

Now don't get me wrong, I Facebook, I Twitter and I Blog...and I like it.

Ding Dong it's Dead.

2009-04-02T16:05:00.001-07:00

Exhibit A: Cute Mice

Exhibit B: Real Mice

A couple weeks ago, we had some FANTASTIC weather. Such great weather, that, I decided to buy a patio swing for us to enjoy this summer. My mom has one and when we were in Oklahoma, we had a lovely time swinging on the back patio-Beck loved sitting outside in the warm weather. Casey and I put the swing together, over the course of a weekend. As we were finishing it up on a Saturday night, we could feel a cold front coming though. That cold front never left. Because of the cold, we never cleaned up the boxes that the swing came in. A couple of days ago, we went out into the back yard and started cleaning up some of the boxes. We had our dogs out there with us and they were acting so crazy...running around wildly like they were excited about something, but they couldn't find what that was. Under the pieces of cardboard, we noticed some pellets...MOUSE pellets. I was SO freaked out. The last thing I need is a mouse in my house. I'd get up in the middle of the night to feed Beck and thoughts from Lady and the Tramp would creep into my mind (the scene where there's a rat in the baby's room). All last Sunday we tried to get Pete and Harry to find it (Harry's a purebred Yorkshire Terrier, bred for rodent hunting), but I didn't really want to clean up that bloody mess if they did.

Monday morning I went to take the dogs outside and to hunt for the mouse again (keep in mind, we have a patio for a backyard...a fenced in patio that isn't very big). Just as the dogs looked one way, the mouse darted the other. I SAW IT. I was so grossed out. I didn't even want to open my back door, fearing it would jump in at the last second and infiltrate the premises. I saw it twice more the following day.

I then decided, the mouse had to die.

Exhibit C: Dead Mice

This is just an example of what I am capable of. I might have let it live if I didn't think it would ever find it's way in that back door. I also might have let it live if it sang "There are no cats in America" instead of tricking its way past my dogs and running into my other neighbors' patios.

And so I sing instead, "Ding dong the mouse is dead! The mouse is dead! The nasty mouse is dead!"

I Like Food

2009-03-29T22:49:00.000-07:00

Here's the real reason I gained so much weight while I was pregnant:

Here is the reason I am still struggling to lose my last 20lbs....
These are delicious treats made by my FAVORITE bakery of all time:

I also like to think this is the reason why my baby is so sweet (lost of sugar=sweet, right?) This bakery is located in American Fork, Utah and is only a few turns away from where I used to work. I first discovered Flour Girls and Dough Boys just before Christmas of 2007. A woman at work brought in breakfast for everyone from a new bakery. Just looking at the open pastry boxes, I felt like I was standing in the middle of Willy Wonka's candy shop. I chose a cinnamon roll that had and excessive amount of a thick, creamy icing oozing over the top and down the sides of a huge mass of the buttery baked dough. I will never eat Cinnabon again. Few know that one of my favorite indulgences in this world is cream cheese...anything with cream cheese. This cinnamon roll had the BEST cream cheese icing...SO cream cheesy. After that day, my friends and I indulged almost daily-trying something different each day. Trust me- it was and is ALL good.

Eventually, as the bakery became more established, they started catering our weekly breakfasts at work. They expanded their breakfast menu, including items like a maple sausage panini and cream cheese and ham croissant.

Last April when my friend got married, I arranged for her bachelorette party to be catered and hosted by FGDB. They created a fantastic leopard print cake for the occasion and an array of other treats. BEST cake EVER.

Now for any birthday party or occastion that I host, I include treats from FGDB. Why not? They're absolutely scrumptious.

So, naturally, when my parents where visiting (taking Trent to the MTC), I took them to the bakery. My mom loved it! She was able to stay an additional week with us after they took Trent to the MTC and we ate there almost every day for lunch or for breakfast.

Even better than their food, I am happy to say I am supporting the small business in America. We all know the economy is going through a rough phase, and it is all I can do to keep these fantastic treats available to me so that I do not go into an emotional recession. And if I do get depressed, I'll need their food to wallow in. (I'm an emotional eater- I eat when I'm happy to celebrate, too)

In addition to their sweets, they offer a lovely selection of artisan breads. Personally, I really enjoy their jalapeno bread, but believe me, they're all good.

Out With the Old and in with the New

2009-03-27T13:41:00.000-07:00

I only wish I was talking about Spring cleaning! It would be so nice to have the time to scrub this house!

I am, actually, speaking of my current employment. As of December 28, I began the job of "mother". I was on maternity leave from my corporate position until earlier this week. So as of Wednesday, I am no longer a software sales representative, but now hold the official title of President, Livingston Enterprises...promotion, right? While I can honestly admit this is the BEST job I have ever had, it is also going to be the most challenging.

I know what you, my dear readers, must be thinking - how could I quit my job in this economy??? Well, it has not been an easy choice. Yes, the economic climate is suffering greatly, and yes, I did hold a job at a company that was not as affected as many others have been. This company has been hiring and promoting employees instead of laying them off-a rarety in these times. Not only was it stable, but it is the best job I've ever had outside the home. I had the most incredible boss - he is fantastic with managing people, is understanding and sympathetic to individuals' situations, and he is very accomodating to the needs of his employees. All this, and he is still very fun, too. For my last day, he got some cake and we as a team sat around our big conference table and reminisced about all the fun times we had together (mostly about my crazy pregnant woman stories- you know, like eating everyone's food and gradually standing farther and farther back while we played foosball). I am very much going to miss the good friends I've made there and being able to socialize and build relationships with those people and my clients. I will also miss the challenges and goals that a job brings. I work hard - I love the feeling of knowing I accomplished something. With a job like that, I could gauge how I was doing every day. I knew if I could go home with my head held high, or contemplating what I can do to improve myself the next. I also love the independence being a working girl brings. I am very much going to miss it all.

So here I am. I feel like it's worth it to sacrifice those things for me to give my son (and any other children we may have) that most enriched life possible. (Not meaning to brag) already I've been told how alert and friendly he is for being so young-his progress is very much developed by the face-to-face contact he receives every day. He gets so much attention and care every day of his life and I am so so so grateful that I can be here to give it to him.

It has also been nice to pick up some of the more household duties. I do feel a great sense of accomplishment residing in a clean home. I also have more time now to decorate- only, I don't have the opportunity to hang all my decorations much. I am also really enjoying cooking all the meals for our dinners. I have more control, now, over what and how much we eat. I'm loving being able to eat real lunches and healthy breakfasts. I didn't have time for it before! Not that I have much time to cook big meals for myself now, but I really didn't have ANY time while I was working.

Really, I just love this little boy so much. It is difficult to even put him in a different room each night to sleep! (Yes, he sleeps up to 6 hrs most nights so he's in his own crib now! Yay!) I could just stare at him all day and night. I just want to make sure he's breathing, he's happy and that he's safe. This is, by far, the very best job that I could EVER have. I hope I can keep it full time :)

Over the River and Through the Woods...to Grammy's House We Go!

2009-03-19T21:10:00.000-07:00

I had an airline voucher that was expiring this month- so Beck and I decided to take a trip to Oklahoma to visit Grammy and Bumba! We had so much fun meeting and visiting with cousins and aunts and uncles. AND of course, they all loved our little Beck, too.

Haven't You Ever Felt Like.....

2009-03-04T19:28:00.001-08:00

[CLICK HERE]

A New Book to Review

2009-02-24T11:29:00.000-08:00

My dear dear readers. What I am about to say may surprise you. I hope you don't feel that I have failed you....but I finally gave in to the overwhelming pressure.

I don't even know how many months these books have been out, mainly because I have been trying so hard to forget all the stupid attention they've been getting. First off, these books have drawn two crowds in particular that put a bad taste in my mouth: teenagers and sci-fi freaks. They're the same crowds that keep me from going anywhere near the mall on a Friday night and from watching any of the Star Wars "Episodes". These particular crowds would also explain why all the book (and movie) paraphernalia is sold primarily at Hot Topic (a place that before this movie, my mother was frightened to even walk near in the mall).

Needless to say, not only was I not attracted to this series, but I was very much repelled away from what I thought it represented.

While I don't necessarily feel the need to rationalize my actions, I will go ahead and throw in one point that this is not the first time this has happened to me. I read the Harry Potter books andloved them. Again, I waited a long time to get around to them, but they're some of my favorite stories.

I think you know what I am about to say and I'm not asking for forgiveness...I read and LOVEthe Twilight series.

I was skeptical about them for all the above mentioned reasons, and for a few more that I don't feel I need to mention, so I only bought one book to begin with. My mom and my four sisters had all read them, gone to the book releases (with home-made tshirts) and the midnight showing of the movie (admittedly screaming every time Edward's face graced the screen). They'd also seen the actor Rob Pattinson in Dallas during some movie promo. I thought they were all CRAZY. All they could talk about is how much they love Edward and how fantastic he is. Again, crazy. First of all, it's made up. Now, I'm a lover of fiction, but not really of many sci-fi or fantasy genres. So when I was told the fore mentioned character was a vampire, I was even more turned off. After reading the books, I just the opposite feeling (if you've read it, you'll know what I mean!).

They've all been hounding me for months about reading them. I'm going to visit in just less than two weeks, so I caved. Once I started the first book, I absolutely could not put it down. It took me two days to read it. Immediately after finishing it, I showered (possibly for the first time since I started the book) and drove immediately to Barnes and Noble for the second. Feeling so encaptured by this new world my mind had been opened to, I decided that I didn't even want to take time to shower when I finished the second, much less leave the house again to get the next book. So, I bought the third and fourth books, too. I read one right after the other- hardly taking time to eat and go to the bathroom. Lucky I don't have to cook much less get up off the couch to feed my baby, otherwise he would have had to survive on microwaved meals and pieces of bread. I left Casey to fend for himself- afterall, he's a big boy. I stayed up all hours of the night (I haven't even watched Ellen since I started!) and here I am, just less than a week later, finished at 1am this morning. As I'm sure you've guessed, my house is in shambles.

I lost track of all sense of time while I was encaptured in this whole other world. Now, I was not only hesitant to read them, but I had decided ahead of time that I would not get all Edward crazy like everyone else. Halfway through, I realized that even if I were the straightest of men, I would have in some way loved Edward. Stephenie Meyer makes it impossible not to. While the books themselves are not classic romance novels, Edward himself could have fit in one.

I was fascinated to find out that she got the idea for the book from a dream she had. There was a gorgeous young man and a young woman in a beautiful meadow in the middle of the forest. His skin was sparkling in the sunlight and they were in love. They just had one problem - he was a vampire and she was a human. Meyer woke up from her dream, bewitched by what she had seen. She sat and wrote out the story as she'd watched it in her head. When she was done with that scene, she decided that she wanted to know how the story ended. She kept going, finishing the book and then going back to write the beginning.

Meyer admits that she was in love with the vampire in her dream, demonstrating why she was able to write him the way that she did, thus explaining why we're all so enfatuated with Edward. I was pleasantly surprised with her ability to develop this whole other world within our own. I was (and still am) completely captivated by her creation. Her descriptions are so vivid - and so easily brought to life. So much, that when I did take a few breaks, I would get confused as to why Edward wasn't here and Casey was-and why Casey couldn't read my mind as my precious Edward could.

While there's that part of me that analyzes the talent that this author has and how well it's been portrayed in these books, there is also the 14 year old girl in me coming out - just wishing that this story was true...that Edward was real.

Though there aren't any underlying life lessons or hidden meanings, this is an amazing story. I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. Now for the movie....

Remember When?

2009-02-17T10:08:00.000-08:00

Besides this being a photo of a woman's legs, this is also a pair of jeans.

Besides the second picture being one of me and my adorable puppies, it is also a woman in jeans.

The jeans worn in these photographs have something in common...can you tell me what it is? That's right. They're both probably a size 0-4 and neither of them have an elastic band in the back. I own many pairs of jeans that fit this description. I have not worn and currently cannot fit into any of these jeans since I was about 5 months pregnant.

Recently, I looked like this:

This photo was taken just a few days before I gave birth to my precious baby boy (see top right hand corner of blog for reference). Notice how I am not really smiling? This expression is one of surrender. I may as well be holding a white flag. I certainly topped the scales at my highest weight - EVER. Since then (exactly 7 weeks and 3 days ago) I have lost 30 lbs. I think at least 20-25 was the baby alone. I still have about 30 to go.

Sadly, the only thing on my body back to normal is my nose. Although I know that nothing will be quite the same as it was before getting pregnant, I do know that I need to find out what my new "normal" is going to be. I can tell you one thing - it is not going to be status quo. This just won't work. I am STILL wearing jeans that are made to fit a woman who looks like this:

Can you feel the desperation in my writing? I'd like to wear a pair of jeans that doesn't stretch...is it too much for me to ask for them to fit, too????

I am going to Oklahoma to visit in a few weeks and this is all I want for Christmas. This is my battle plan. It includes major adjustments to the following:

Diet

Exercise

Here's what I've changed....with my diet:

My body is still supporting life for our little boy, so I need to eat a lot of protein, veggies and fruits rich in antioxidants, plenty of calcium and of course, iron. I need my meals to be low on two things - calories and fat. So far, I have been eating a lot of yogurt with (once) frozen berries and pretty lean granola (has lots of the good fats like Omega 3 & 6), cottage cheese with canned light peaches, deli sandwiches for lunch and a stir-fry or crock pot meal (meat with TONS of veggies - no added oil or fat) for dinner...(I gave up on being a vegetarian about 30 min after Beck was born...I was starving and all they had was country fried steak...one bite and I am off the wagon. Meat did make me very sick during pregnancy, though. Sadly, it didn't keep me from gaining too much weight.)

Anyhow, I need help. My meals are getting to be pretty mundane and I need recipes for your healthiest and tastiest meals. I am Asian, therefore I grew up in a house with food RICH in spices and flavor - please help!

As for the exercise, I am attending a series of 3 yoga classes a week and on my off days, I go to the gym and run (Casey tends the baby and they do enjoy their father-n-son time!) for about 20 minutes. Today, I downloaded a dvd of mother with baby yoga, an exercise in which your baby is incoporated with your poses to increase their mental stimulation, mother-baby bonding, and using your 8 pounder as a weight will always help.

So far, this seems to be working really well - but I know there have to be other great exercises out there. I do have a gym pass, which gives me access to just about any and all workout machines and free weights...

My two target areas are my upper arms and my legs...the abs will come with all the cardio and yoga. Any great ideas???

Understanding, I am not out to lose all 30 pounds right away, I JUST want to fit into a pair of jeans (that I already own) that don't have an elastic band in them. Please share! Even if you haven't had a baby, but you know some really great advise that I could use, PLEASE let me know!

Your comments can be as long as you need them to be. Let the ideas flow and the excess weight shed!!!!!!!

Daytime TV

2009-02-15T20:29:00.000-08:00

I have a new favorite daytime TV show...The Ellen Degeneres Show. I do DVR it so I can fast forward the commercials, and just in case I miss it. It's the only talk show I watch, and I catch myself laughing out loud at least once every episode. Last week, she had one of my favorite people on there and did one of the funniest duets I've seen in a long time. Grobanites, you know who you are...CLICK HERE.

One of my other favorite things about Ellen is that she has games! I have two favorites:

Blind-folded Musical Chairs

Whistle While You Work It

Ellen likes to dance. She dances every show...so do I. She has her audience dance, too...

Ellen also has her audience sing. Sometimes they don't know the lyrics...or get a little into it.

Man I love this show.

Enjoy! I sure do.

My Funny Valentine

2009-02-14T22:09:00.001-08:00

I Have Been Blessed

2009-02-12T17:00:00.003-08:00

My sweet little baby was blessed last Sunday. I haven't had a chance to update my blog because my mom was able to stay and visit with us all week. She left today :( We had a lot of fun with her! I am really glad that Beck got to meet his Grammie and spend time together. Casey and I enjoyed spending time with Mom, too. I still need to upload a pic of Beck in his blessing outfit...that is to come!

Beck's Blessing

2009-02-12T17:00:00.001-08:00

Chapter 3

2009-02-07T22:03:00.001-08:00

In Chapter One of my life, I didn't want to grow up. I loved being a kid. I could play all day - imagining I was someone else in a different place, or even myself as a grown up.

In Chapter Two, all I wanted to do was be an adult so I could do what I wanted whenever I wanted. I still had fun, but it wasn't the same. I HAD to get older but I couldn't do whatever I wanted. And I still had the perk of my parents taking care of all the bigger things :)

Chapter Three in life is where we grow up and are actually responsible for what we do. This is the part where no one can live life for us. For me, it was when I moved to Utah. No one was going to help me pay my rent - and if I couldn't pay it, I was the one to deal with the consequences. The only real source of strength I depended on was the Lord. That was the main constant in my life and I know I can always depend on Him. Chapter three was where I grew up the most in the shortest amount of time. In this chapter, I learned so many skills and lessons that I will depend on for the rest of my life.

This past week, my only brother started writing his third chapter in life. He entered the Missionary Training Center here in Provo. He made the wonderful decision to serve a mission. He actually got his call the day I went into labor with Beck - I can't believe that the time has gone by so quickly. I can only hope that two years will go by so fast. For us, I think it will. We didn't get to see him very often, since we live so far away. However, Casey and I both found ourselves very emotional seeing him go.

We are so very proud of him for all he has worked for to accomplish this. Serving a mission is truly a very special opportunity and I find it difficult to express in words the joy I feel for him. I love my brother very much. He is outgoing and kind - I know he will be a very good servant for our Father in Heaven. Trent has a great love for our Christ - this will be his greatest tool serving a mission. He also has a great love for life and for the adventures this world has to offer. Right now, he is learning Laotian at the MTC to serve in Oakland, California. That is an adventure if there ever was one!

I just want to say again, just how very proud of Trent we are - he's a great young man. He's a loving brother and a fantastic uncle. He loves his nieces and nephews so much! I am so grateful that for the example that Trent is setting for Beck and our other nephews. He is a strong role model for what is right and what will bring happiness to us here on earth. He is showing the path to follow for us to return to live with our Heavenly Father someday. This kid's got his priorities straight. We are so blessed to have him in our family! We'll miss him for the next two years, but it will be fun sending him pictures and updates on what is going on outside the mission in Oakland.

It was difficult saying good-bye at the MTC and luckily we took all the pictures there before we all got our make-up smeared. Until we meet again...

Trent

2009-02-07T21:47:00.001-08:00

Life Well Worth It

2009-01-26T20:57:00.000-08:00

We go through many different life altering experiences in our time here on earth. Most of us start realizing these experiences are monumental around high school age. As teenagers, most of us recognize Prom as a night to remember. I'll always remember my first kiss. The first time I drove a car and my high school graduation. For some reason those four years serve as a right of passage and once we've climbed that mountain, the world is ours for the taking.

I had the BEST summer after I graduated. I was starting college at OU in September and I had just crossed that bridge into adulthood (which is a word describing the eligibilty to be legally responsible for oneself but at this point too immature to actually know what that means). I was waitressing at a small restaurant on campus and I had the best girlfriends a new woman could ask for. I went TP-ing for the first time that summer. I have the scars to prove it. I sang and danced (voluntarily) in front of hundreds of people at EFY that year with those girls to 'Man I Feel Like a Woman' - something I couldn't bring myself to do now and possibly ever again. I can still feel that summer. It was the best single girl summer I've ever had.

A few months later, I fell in love for the first time. I walked into a party and the room stopped. It was as if we were the only people there. He was standing on the other side of the room in jeans, a blue striped shirt and a corduroy jacket. His hair was longer than I'd ever seen it and he was exactly what I'd never known I'd always wanted. He shook my hand and introduced himself by his first name. The next morning, he picked me up and we had waffles together.

Four and a half years later, I sit here comforting our month old little boy, imagining how he will grow. In a few months, he will say my name. In a few years, he'll go to school and learn how to read. He'll have a first crush, go on a mission and some day have children of his own. The world is his to conquer. His life is full of chances. It's hard to imagine that another girl could ever love him as much as I do, but that is just a risk we live to take.

I've always known that we are on this earth to learn. I just never comprehended how much those lessons change when you're living to take care of someone else. Nothing could have prepared me for this love.

Now you just try to tell me this little face isn't worth living for....

Extreme Exhaustion

2009-01-13T08:41:00.000-08:00

I first would like to say thank you - to all those who left such lovely comments on our last post. We do love and appreciate each of you and your kind words. We are very blessed to have such great friends and family who care about us so much.

Second, I would like to apologize for not posting in such a long time. It is because I am exhausted. I knew I'd be tired and I knew I wouldn't get much sleep, but really...I had no clue what that would feel like. I will try to be better, but this little guy demands a lot of my attention - which I am happy to give him! Speaking of which, he is starting to fuss...so in the mean time, here are a few pictures I took in the last couple of weeks since we've been home.

With Love - Mallory, Casey & Beck

He's Finally Here!

2008-12-29T17:39:00.000-08:00

Casey and I are overjoyed to introduce you to our son, Beck Casey Livingston:
I am SO in love...like I never thought I could be.

So here's how it started - when a boy meets a girl....j/k j/k!

But really...approximately six to seven months ago, I was late. Casey made a joke, rubbing my tummy and said something like, "Baby Bean??" Kidding that he thought I might be pregnant. At the time, I got butterflies in my stomach and the thought of being a mother and being responsible for another life made me exceedingly nervous. I was SO nervous, that I waited another full week before taking a pregnancy test. That test was positive. Casey and I both then became so nervous that we quickly ran to Rite Aid, purchasing five more tests of all brands and types, along with a 7Up, which I then chugged on my way home, feeling SO nausious as we sped home, wide eyed. Not to our surprise, but certainly to our pleasure, all the tests came out VERY positive.

I couldn't believe it. The reality of pregnancy certainly set in quickly, because as it turns out, I was not 8 weeks like I thought, but actually 12 weeks pregnant. As quickly as pregnancy set in, the reality of that ever growing bump in my belly didn't set in that it was actually a baby until - well, until I saw him.

As I posted my frustrations of still being pregnant a few days ago, not only was I fed up with still being pregnant, but I also was deep down fearing that my body somehow didn't know how to do this. I had hardly felt any contractions in the weeks of December and I was scared that my body didn't know how to go into labor - on it's own - and what if it didn't figure things out if I was induced (a week after my due date?) Well, last Tuesday when Casey and I went to our doctor's appointment, the doctor checked me and confirmed that I was still only dilated to one centimeter, which I had then been at for three weeks already. I was two days away from my due date and literally at my wit's end. He said that he wouldn't even consider inducing me until I was a week over my date, and that we should wait a week until the following Tuesday to even make that appointment. My eyes welled up with tears and I fought them back as hard as I possibly could until the doctor walked out of the room. As soon as Casey asked me what was wrong, I burst. The great husband he is, he held me close and told me it would be okay - at most, we were only waiting one more week and two days to hold our baby and encouraged me that I could be strong enough to make it through. The real problem wasn't so much having the baby in my belly as it was enduring the side effects of pregnancy - like back pain, my knees giving out from the weight and the inability to sleep anymore. Not only that, but it seemed that nature was completely against us - we'd tried almost every natural way to induce labor that there was, which only made things more stressful when they didn't work.

Finally, Saturday morning rolled around. Casey, as the determined health nut that he is, said he was going to the gym (seriously, working out on the weekend???) and he asked if I'd like to come and perhaps walk a bit and get my body moving (which I had also been doing all week walking around the mall). I thought, I'll give it one more shot - if it doesn't work, then I'll just have a hard time sleeping tonight. I was ever so determined - I walked on that tredmill for Casey's entire workout, which ended up being about 45 min. That added up to about a mile and a half- me just truding along. As I was walking, I could feel my belling tightening - but the entire thing wasn't as hard as I thought it should be, so I just assumed it was the baby stretching out and pushing his bum outward as he often did. As the day went on, the pressure continued, and each time I questioned the creditability of these "contractions" - until about 9:30 at night, when they started to tighten every ten minutes on the dot. Gradually then, seven minutes and then I called my mom. As we were talking, she timed them- every five minutes....so I called the doctor. They were pretty uncomfortable and made it hard for me to breathe, and I thought this was pretty weak for only five minutes apart - I was right.

The doctor told us to go on into the hospital. We did. They checked me, hooked me up to all the monitors for an hour to track any progress. When we got there (around 11:30pm Sat night), I was dilated to 1 1/2 cm. Progress since Tuesday (yay!)...so I thought for sure, in an hour of steady contracting it would make more change, right? Not so. At 1am, they sent me home with two percoset and told me to try and get some sleep. I went home, made a bowl of oatmeal and then sat in the bath for about 20 minutes. I then passed out solid - until 4am. They were back. The meds had worn off. Great. Wasn't this going to be fun? I didn't want to go back to the hospital just for them to tell me to go home again, so I did what I could to tough it all out at home. At 4:30am I started a hot bath again - and then started pacing around our room. My goal was not only to ease the pain, but to also gauge when it's a good time to go in again- I was told previously (in prenatal class) that I likely wouldn't be admitted until I was at 4cm, so to save me stress, don't come in until I can't talk or walk through a contraction...so that is what I did. I timed my contractions from 4am - 6am and they were a pretty steady 2 minutes apart. I couldn't talk. I couldn't walk and I could hardly breathe anymore. The pain was excruciating. It felt like someone was drilling fist sized screws into my lower back and simultaneously ripping out the muscle from my hips all the way under my belly while punching me in the lungs. Actually - it was worse....anyhow - We got to the hospital around 6:30am - and by 7:30 my cervix had decided to cooperate! I was at a 2 1/2!!! But that isn't quite 3cm...or the usual 4cm they'd keep me there for. Luckily, the doctor was as ready as I was to speed things along. After walking the halls for an hour with my dear husband holding me up and rubbing my back through each contraction - it was finally about to be worth it. At 9am, I got my epidural. FYI - I HATE needles. They freak me out more than just about anything else. I know it's all in my head, but I can't so much as get a flu shot, let alone know that they're putting a GIANT needle with a tube in it into my spine. So this is to say - the epidural is SO worth it. SO worth it. I will probably have more than one child because of it.

At about 10:00am, the doc came in (in his church attire....love Utah Valley) to break my water and then be on his way to his meetings. This made my contractions MUCH more intense - and you could find me at this time, pushing the big orange button that increased my epidural...at noon, they augmented labor with some Pitocin....and I was pushing the orange button again. By three, I was dilated to a seven and the nurses estimated we'd start pushing at 5pm. All along, I still have this lingering fear that something would happen at the last second - sending me into an emergency Cesarian....and as our great blessing, it didn't happen. Indeed, we starting pushing at 5pm...dear Casey thought he was going to be able to stand by and just watch, enjoy the show, but the nurse wrangled him into not just counting (3 sets of 10 while I pushed) but also into holding one of my legs for me to help me push. At first, this made the both of us a little nervous, as nerither of us really wanted Casey to be watching this all at point blank range...we'd both seen enough gorey births from our prenatal class....that, and the actual birth can be a little gross as I'm sure we all know or can imagine...no details needed (nor will they be provided).

Casey was the BEST coach. He did watch the labor a little bit - and knowing how excited he was to see the baby's head and him telling me about Beck's dark hair did give me the extra motivation that I think was needed with each contraction. Casey supported my head and my neck with each push and on the last few contractions sprung an extra count of 10 on me, which ultimately probably saved me from pushing a few extra sets of contractions. Once the baby was out, the doctor bullied Casey into cutting the cord...he handed Casey the scissors and held up the cord for him to cut - something else Casey had no intention of going near or even looking at I'm sure! But like the proud papa he is, he stood up to the challenge. I probably don't profess it enough on my public forums, but I absolutely love my husband. This is just one of the many times he goes above and beyond for me and for our little family. I have no doubt that he will be an AMAZING father for our little Beck and for any other children we may bare in the far distant future.

So, Baby Beck was born at 6:50pm, December 28, 2008. He weighed 7lbs 1oz and was 19 inches long....which is pretty long considering how small his parents are. He has dark hair and a little dimple in his chin. He's perfect. We couldn't be two happier parents. He is absolutely fantastic. So far, he hardly cries - unless he specifically wants something, or unless he is being disturbed. And again, so far, he is easily comforted. We do go home tomorrow, where I am sure this fairy tale feeling will become more like reality. Which is perfectly fine with me because the sooner someone pinches me and I know I'm not dreaming, I can go on with my life (the one with our new baby!).

It is eerily strange just how natural it all is for us - birth and especially have Beck here. It's a testament to me about just how much our Father in Heaven has a hand in all this. He knew what he was doing when he made things this way, and he certainly knows now what he is doing in trusting us with his spirits. There will be more pictures to come - but for now, here are a few from last night an earlier today...for your viewing pleasure. Feel free to "ooh" and "aww" and "coo" or make any other noise that may strike you - he is quite the handsome one!

We have an ultrasound pic of his feet like this....so cute!

With his Daddy :)
I don't quite look like myself, but hey, what do you expect after all this??? Beyonce?
Just after his bath...he's had his legs like this for months...I could always feel his little knees on the sides of my belly and little feet in my ribs!

Tick Tock, You're Not a Clock, You're a Time Bomb Baby - A Time Bomb Baby Oh...

2008-12-20T18:06:00.001-08:00

It's time that I address the subject. I really have only one question, pardon my language and understand that I'm actually much more polite on my blog that I would be in real life if we were face to face right now: Why the HECK haven't I had this baby yet????

My due date is only five days away. My patience has run out. I pity those who are around me and I don't even appreciate those who are able to put up with me - who I think is really only Casey at this point, who not only made vows to be by my side, but he is also part of the reason why I'm pregnant in the first place. Putting up with me is his punishment.

Our nursery is all ready. The crib is all put together. I have washed EVERYTHING that I can fit into my washing machine and have put it away in its designated place. The suspense is killing me. Why isn't he here yet? Doesn't he know that we're ready for him?

Although I more often relate to Carrie on Sex and the City, I have very much felt like Miranda for the last nine months. Which makes sense, because Carrie doesn't have a baby, but Miranda does. Miranda is the resident realist - she's a cynic and tells it like it is. It was a big deal when Miranda found out she was pregnant, not only because she wasn't ready to have a baby and didn't know if she even wanted to keep it, but because her best friend, Charlotte, had been trying for so long to have a baby and was unable to conceive. It was so traumatizing to Charlotte to find out that she may never have a baby of her own that the stress started to wear on her marriage - and eventually she and her husband Trey split up.

I consider myself to be pretty realistic. I'm honest about how I feel. I know I have had a very healthy experience and by definition a fairly easy pregnancy. Pregnancy automatically comes with a number of grievances and there are lots and lots of books to walk you through each one, week by week. You gain weight during pregnancy....and it's rare to only gain the 20 something lbs that the book says you should stay within. A body changing for the bigger is never an easy thing to cope with and then there's the devestating discovery of stretch marks...and more stretch marks.

For the past nine months, I have surprised myself with my ever growing Miranda-attitude. I never thought I'd feel like such a grump about having a baby. To be honest, it's only about being pregnant- it is not about having a baby. I'm ecstatic about having a baby - I just don't like being pregnant. I remember seeing pregnant women and thinking how beautiful they look - how they carried their bellies so nicely and they had that signature "glow". I have often told my pregnant friends how beautiful I thought they were and instead of hearing a "thank you" I'd get an earful of how uncomfortable they were. Those complaints really only made me nervous about what my own experience would be - and what if it may never happen for me? Should I have considered myself lucky to not go through it? Thinking of all the Charlotte's in my life, I promised myself not to behave in such a way. I have tried very hard to be grateful in accepting every "cute belly" compliment and have withheld my startled reaction to random people and strangers touching my belly at work and in public (especially many hispanics who tend to 1/2 hug me as they rub, but also have probably been raised with a much more touchy feely culture than I was). I fear I haven't been as convincing as I would like to be - one day a girl at work who is truly after my own "honest" attitude, flat out asked me, "Do you just hate it when people tell you how cute you look?" Completely startled and grateful that I had a kindred spirit to sympathize with me, I let out a heavy sigh and enjoyed the opportunity to vent my pregnancy grievances.

Hoping I've been better about showing gratitude, but worrying that I may not have been, I decided to take a moment to let the Charlotte in me out and say how happy I am to be having this baby boy. Although I feel like the Lord sends spirits to families in more ways than the one we've used, I am ever grateful to be able to conceive and carry our baby. I have so much enjoyed bonding with him for these months. I love feeling him move in my belly and knowing he is so close to my heart. I am still a little shocked that Casey and I actually made him - and also very humbled that we have been chosen to care for one of our Father in Heaven's choice spirits. We're both very excited. We're both very anxious. We can't wait much longer. Although it's now only a matter of days before he is born, each day feels like a month of its own.

Keep an eye out for pics, soon! If not of the baby in the nexts few days, at least of his nursery as I finish things up a bit more.

Please understand that there is one more Miranda experience I may have to go through - labor and delivery. Carrie's job in the delivery room was to make sure that there was no "cheerleading" from either Steve or any of the nurses. I have purposely chosen a group of doctors who are much more nerdy (which also means they probably studied more in med school) than they are cheerleadery - and I intend to keep it all very zen and meditative...maybe for a few days after, too.

In the mean time, we're going to enjoy Christmas. For the first time we've decided to actually wait till Christmas Day to open our presents (as opposed to the 2 weeks before - or on Christmas Eve as we did our first married Christmas).

It's the Holiday Season

2008-11-27T08:11:00.000-08:00

Finally!!! the Holidays have begun. The Holiday Season is officially marked by one of my absolute favorite American traditions: The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I MUST watch it every year. I remember watching the Parade as a child as my mom, aunts and sisters prepared our Thanksgiving feast. I didn't always like the parade, as a matter of fact, I used to think it was boring. I would have much rather been watching cartoons on my Holiday morning. My mother made me watch it - it was her childhood tradition. It is a tradition that I, myself will carry on to my own children.

Sure, in any other situation, I might not care to watch random high school bands or cheerleading camps perform, but in the Thanksgiving Parade, such portrayals are ceremonious of American Heritage. For 82 years now, this custom has marked the time of year where love, gratitude and generocity overcome all other worldy obstacles. This is the time of year when miracles happen. For us, this year, it's the miracle of having a baby. Which makes this particular landmark that much more emotional for me.

I often fantasize of New York in my sleep and sometimes in my day dreams. For the past week, I've imagined myself in Herald Square, watching Matt, Meredith and Al announce the progression of fanfare through the streets of (my favorite place) Manhattan Island. I get goosebumps when I hear the music start, with oversized balloons blending in with skyscrapers on the horizon. Al counts down, tears well up in my eyes as the ceremonial ribbon is cut. The parade has begun.

Today, loved ones will gather together feasting and celebrating that which they are grateful for. A tradition that began when our forefathers established this great country. Something that we, as Americans should stand a little taller being a part of. This is a great country, full of opportunities - something, I think, we sometimes can forget. With the Parade marking the inauguration of the "Holidays" each year, I hope that we don't skip over the holiday that actually begins this season - Thanksgiving. This year, I plan on being thankful throughout this period of time, through Christmas, New Years, and into 2009. It is my challenge to you - to find gratitude in each day you live this Holiday Season and going forward. Share it with others and I promise that your days will be that much more fulfilling.

I am going to enjoy the festivities with my sweet husband and family this year. Hopefully, I'll be spending Christmas with a son, who, next year, will be watching this fantastic parade with me while his daddy plays in the Turkey Bowl. Maybe in a few years, we'll all be watching it together, standing in the streets of Manhattan ourselves - bundled and giddy.

Happy Thanksgiving!

How Does it End?

2008-11-07T13:56:00.001-08:00

I've lately not had much to say that I don't think is 'TMI'. Like how we went to a breast-feeding class last night. No one wants to hear about that. So instead, I've posted this very cute little video. I don't know what happens in the end, but I like to think it is something happy and positive, although I kind of think it might not be. Anyhow, the rest of the video is cute. Take it for what you will. (Click on "digg story" and the video is there)

read more | digg story

Fantastic Photos

2008-10-28T07:34:00.000-07:00

Earlier this summer, Casey's brother and his wife (Patch and Lindsay - bloggers of From Garden Street in the Garden State) came to visit back to Utah and had some of the most fantastic pictures taken by Matt Clayton Photography. For those who knew me back in Oklahoma, you may know that I, myself, have once been a photographer (if I can call myself that), and am always very interested to see the work of others. I never really did a lot of portraits and was quite intrigued with Matt's work. At first I thought his pics looked as if they'd popped out of a Gap commercial, but I very quickly decided that the Gap really didn't do them justice. They're much better than the Gap. Needless to say, I'm a HUGE fan of his work and at this point, haven't been able to place a label or description on his work besides, say, maybe fabulous???

So, being the blogger stalker that I am, I frequent his blog to admire his latest work. One day, I noticed that I could add him as a "friend" on Facebook from his blog, so I did. A few weeks ago, Matt sent out an invite to be part of a project he was doing "A Simple White Shirt". I decided I wanted to participate - I kind of wanted a cute prego pic of myself (for my posterity) - and I made Casey come along so I didn't feel so self-absorbed. Matt was really nice and tons of fun to work with - for the 15 min we were there - and we're really excited to have him take pics of us again once our little bundle arrives. Anyhow, I thought Casey's pics turned out especially great (how couldn't they? he's hot!) - but I wanted to share the entire collection because all of them turned out especially well. After two paragraphs of my run-on sentences, here are the links to Matt's blog and his website for your viewing pleasure:

(you may need to scroll down on the blog)

http://mattclaytonphotography.blogspot.com/

http://www.mattclaytonphotography.com/

I'm a Blessed Wife

2008-10-23T15:14:00.000-07:00

This post is not an explanation of why I love my husband...I do love him. This post is an example of one of the things he can do to be single again.

On this blog, I have often spoke of one of my favorite sites for searching classifieds, KSL (yes, it is hyperlinked...click on it...I dare you). I have sold a few things on this site and I have bought even more things from people I have found on this site and I love it. While most of my searches are for things I might be in need of, I frequent the section entitled "DOGS" every now and then. It IS where I found my own two pooches, and sometimes I just like looking at puppies...what of it?

Today, I clicked on this subject at JUST the right time. I found one of the BEST ads I have ever found on KSL or any other site for that matter. It was only available for about 5 minutes before it was taken off, which was JUST enough time for me to take a lovely screenshot and save it. (Click on it to make it bigger)

Who knows if this is actually her picture; I do know that their actual phone numbers were listed...we called them. Terrible, I know. The best part is, when we called, someone answered. SHE answered...the "used wife". Talk about awkward...that is EXACTLY what this conversation was....as well as ridiculously funny! After taking part in the joke myself, I decided the decent thing to do would be to black out the numbers before I share the ad. See, I'm not ALL bad!

That is all. -M